Swimming in the Dark

The best bit about swimming is the silence under water. At the surface everything is going on - kids splashing and shouting, adults doing lengths and kicking. It is pretty chaotic above the water. But when you immerse yourself in the water, it feels like silence is falling like a blanket over your head. You can see everything going on, but there is a stillness that pervades the air. That's my favourite part, when everything is crazy and loud but all it takes is ducking under the water and suddenly everything just slows down and there is near silence.

When things are crazy around me, I often try and escape in my head to that place under the water. I close my eyes and imagine the silence and stillness that makes me so calm. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. But when it does, I can escape to a place that no one else has access to. 

Sometimes life can be really isolating. Your experiences are yours and yours only, and although that means that you have within you a very specific and special set of tools, it also means that sometimes you get lonely. And sometimes you get so lonely that the whole world feels like it's filled up with water, and you're trapped inside a really big, lonely, swimming pool. But instead of feeling light and free, you feel scared and alone. Really really alone. 

The worst part of this feeling is that not only can no one access you, but you can't reach anyone either. It feels like everything around you is unreachable, locked. And the silence that you used to love begins to drive you mad, and makes you want to run in the rain or smash plates at a wall or scream into a pillow, just to break the boundary between sound and silence. 

And although you can't pinpoint the silence, or work out what is making you so sad, all you can do is wait until the feeling has surpassed, wait until your head comes up from the water, and you can breathe again. Sometimes this takes minutes, sometimes it takes days, or months and for some people it takes years. 

But when it feels like there are rocks in your stomach, or pains in your heart, like your ears are blocked or your head is filled with cotton wool, you should just know that sooner or later, you will regain feeling. You'll take a really deep breath one day and begin to hear your heart beating once more. So just hold on. 

You know, I write these posts to write the truth, to expose something to other people, and to educate. But more often than not, I write these posts to myself, because sometimes the words that are hardest to hear are the ones we feel the deepest. So to me, and to you, your head will come back out of the water soon, I promise.

LF, LR and MG xx

5 Good Things

A while ago I came up with an idea that changed the way I think. Previously, I had slipped into a really negative mindset. I constantly drew out the negatives in everything, and through this, was compounding my own situation by refusing to control the one thing I was able to control: my thoughts.

I'm not even quite sure how it started, but since around the summer, every evening (with the exception of a few forgetful nights) LF and I have exchanged '5 good things that have happened today'. At first, I became motivated to do this because I thought it would be a nice way to share some good things with one of my closest friends.

Within a few weeks however, I began to notice changes in the way I thought and the way I processed the things that happened to me. The premise of this activity is to find five things, however minute or gigantic that were good things that happened that day. Sometimes that means that the bus came on time, or I only cried once, and other days these things are bigger and more significant. But ultimately, the aim is the same.

I changed the way I thought by recognising all the little good things that can be easily overlooked. Some days this is really difficult when it has been an overwhelmingly bad day, but regardless, pushing myself to find things however seemingly insignificant, showed me that no matter what my day has been like, I am so blessed to have the things I have.

I get very easily sucked into a negative frame of mind, and honestly struggle to find the good in many situations. It has now been at least six months and now the network of positivity (as I like to call it) has expanded.

After a few months of sharing 5 good things with LF, I decided to share them with another friend too, after explaining what it was about, she liked the idea and asked to be involved. More months have gone by since then, and more people have become involved. My friend started it up with one of her friends, and I too have since sent them to a few other people.

In some ways, my 5 things are selfish: They help me to have a more positive outlook, they enable me to be grateful and they have truly changed the way I think. But in other ways, I think the 5 things, by spreading positivity through my friends has shown me the importance of sharing positive thoughts and feelings in order to give someone else a better day.

I have been amazed at how a small commitment has turned into something that grows bigger everyday, and so I would implore you to share 5 good things with your friends or family at the end of each day, and see how it changes the way you think!

LF, LR and MG xxx

Why School is Soul Destroying

I have a lot to hold against school at the moment. I completely understand that it's so important and I'm eternally grateful that I have been given high quality education, however I believe that the school system in the United Kingdom (and most likely elsewhere) are doing something wrong.

On the 13th August, Years 12 and 13 received their grades which either determine a place at university or will shape the predicted grades for universities to see. Obviously there are other options, which I will touch upon later.

To me, it seems as if examiners are purposely failing students. If a student was one or two marks off the higher grade, it felt like they revelled in the student's unhappiness and refused to be slightly more generous. If the exam is entirely subjective, such as English (and in my case, Drama) it appeared as if the examiners remained biased to their own views and gave a lower grade than students deserved.

Whilst I find that incredibly annoying, there is something that is bigger than this that I'd like to focus on. School is ruining the fun of education. I have two personal examples to justify this point...

I have two wonderful psychology teachers who manage somehow to keep my class motivated, educated and their love for the subject shines through them and radiates onto us. One of these teachers appears to stay true to the value 'learning for learning's sake' - studying a subject purely for the love of it. In lessons, she frequently shares genuinely interesting facts, to which she is met with blank facial expressions and the same question is posed:

"Will we need this for the exam?"

Do you see how damaging this is? When you think about it, we're supposed to study the subjects that we love, when soon the love will be replaced by the robotic routine of absorbing information and regurgitating it all over the exam paper. There's no time or brain capacity to learn for enjoyment, which is deeply saddening.

My second example follows the way that my practical AS Drama exam went. Our teacher had told us to 'use the inspiration' of a practitioner and apply it to a script of our choice. My friend discovered an unusual and intriguing script, which we performed to the style of 'Epic Theatre', as developed by Bertold Brecht. No-one else had done anything like that at school. We worked for hours during and after school every week, organised rehearsals out of school and worked solidly at school on this performance.  Both of our teachers helped us with this performance and constantly gave us praise for our work - we were sure that we would get top marks. It took over our lives. At social occasions, my friend and I would vent about how annoyed we were with the others the whole time and we would regularly rehearse our lines (and everyone else's, obviously). We were examined by the moderator, who was also being moderated, and one of our teachers.We performed our hearts out and were proud of it. This was the first time in ages, if not forever, where I felt self-confidence, both in the theatrical world and in real life. 

On the 13th August, we were greeted with a letter 'B' on the report card, rather than the A that we had hoped for. And I know that a B is a great grade, it was just heartbreaking because we expected too much. Our teacher later told us that the chief moderator decided that our performance wasn't "Brechtian" enough. 

Wow.

We were too creative.

Our performance didn't get a high enough grade because we were creative. In a creative subject.

To me, this is not okay. I am not talking about my grade anymore, I am speaking of the fact that students everywhere are having the creativity sucked out of them like a vacuum and then come university and adulthood, when we are allowed a little bit more wriggle room to be inventive, we can't. We have been trained to be machines with cloned brains, not allowed any freedom to be ourselves.

Right, I think I've had a long enough vent! I had been intending to make this post since that eventful day of the 13th August, but I couldn't write it for weeks and then, once I did, my internet was being very temperamental and I eventually forgot about this post. I need to get all of this out there though - not so that everyone can read my problems with school, but so that people can take this and be reminded to maintain their creative energy aside from school. This is why my friends and I created this blog, write poetry, songs and perform.

Thanks for reading,

-LF, LR and MG

xxx

Leaving the Past in the Past

When I lie awake at night, letting my thoughts stir round and round in my head, I know that the only way I can fall asleep is if I write whatever it is down. I sit up, open my laptop and stare at a blank word document, until my fingers tap on my keyboard and within minutes, words appear on the page that spell out exactly what is bothering me.

Every now and again I like to read over what I write in those moments, because I think in some ways what I write then is the most honest, and the purest way that I can gather my thoughts together. For me it is in the silence of the night that the rest of the world is quiet enough for my thoughts to be heard.

Recently when I read over things I had written in my midnight madness, I saw a repetitive theme of the past and so I thought that I would write about it on here, and share some of the advice that I gave myself at some point between one am and four am in the last few weeks.

"Accepting the past is about acknowledging that all the things you have done and all the things you have been through, for the good and bad, are very much a part of who you are. Acceptance is the first part of moving forward and I think that when you have grasped that, you leave yourself with the foundation to build on.

You can take all the things you have learnt and develop yourself into the person that you want to be. It is about recognising that whilst your past will always be a part of who you are, it is not the only thing that you are.

I think the best decision I ever made was to move forward. I think through moving forward I have been able to strengthen the person I am into someone that I know will be able to take the weight of the future.

Thinking about the future is scary, it makes you wonder if you will ever be able to escape, it makes you doubt yourself and your capabilities and whether you will ever be able to truly leave behind your past. but I think that the best way to escape your past is to run into it with open arms.

It is about embracing your mistake, the places where you tripped and fell so that the next time you will know what to do. If you embrace your past then you can use it all to build a future and with your future at the tip of your fingers, you will be able to accomplish anything.

You can't move forward without letting go, and whilst I know letting go is going to be so hard, once you are free to reach out and grab whatever opportunity you are faced with, the past won't seem so troubled anymore.

Instead you will look back and wonder how you made it through the hark times, with nothing to guide you. But you will also know that it was all those things that are very much a part of who you are now. You will know that the reason you carry round a flashlight at all times is so that when you get lost again, you will be able to find you way. You know that when you go swimming, you make sure you jump in with both feet, but wearing a life jacket, so that you can feel the water against your skin without tempting fate and struggling not to drown.

But the best thing about the past is that it gives you lessons for the future, and I think when your past is as clouded as mind, it is the lessons that we extract that will stick with us and shape us for life. It isn't about seeing everything for the bad, it is about taking the bad and turning it into the good."

So I think what midnight me is trying to tell you, is that you need to let go of the past in order to build a future. But letting go of the past doesn't mean forgetting where you came from, or how far you have fought to get here. Letting go means taking with you all the things you have learnt, but leaving behind all the negative associations and memories that you have as well.

I hope this was helpful insight,
LF, LR and MG
xxx

Five Letters, Make It or Break It.

Trust. Somewhat of an abstract concept, as it seems to be a prerequisite to so many things. Any relationship without trust would seem to mock the foundation of which most relationships are built on. But what happens if you don't know who to trust? Or if you're not in a place in your life where trust comes easy to you.

Whilst being over-trusting comes hand in hand with naivety, people who don't trust at all are viewed as jaded and guarded. So really, is there a way for us all to win?

I personally find myself constantly battling between the two; I confide way too easily when I feel comfortable with some people, but with other people, I remain constantly wary and distant.

In some cases, trust can be so easy to build, but destroyed even quicker and in other cases the opposite applies.

I think it is important to be able to trust, we should be able to open our eyes and our minds to people and see the good where possible. Having trust is about having faith in other people that they are who they say they are. Having trust is about believing in the good and trying to remain at peace with the world.

Sometimes it doesn't work out, people can screw you over and leave you wounded. I don't deny that possibility because it has certainly happened to me and no doubt to all of you as well. The feeling of betrayal sucks, I am the first to admit it, but I think that building trust over time can solve that.

It is true that on the occasion you should jump into a relationship with two feet, but sometimes you just need to dip your toe in the water first, before jumping in full swing.

I think learning that trust can be a double edged sword can be both the smartest thing you realise and the worst thing to know at all. 

Trust is confusing, it can make or break you. I think by writing this post I hoped to come to some conclusion as to how to deal with trust, but the truth is, I think every relationship is different. I think that some people are trust worthy and others aren't, so we shouldn't tar someone with the same brush. 

I guess I wanted to end this with some sort of clarity, but instead I am going to end my post with and open ended thought. 

Five Letters, Make it or Break it; You Choose. 

-LF, LR and MG xx

Learning to Dance in the Rain

Inevitably at some point in life, we are thrown curveballs. The unexpected turn of events that happen before you have enough time to process it. Events that change the people that we think we are, the way we think about things but most importantly how we react to difficult events, sometimes into complete strangers.

As we get older, we begin to realise that the things we thought were important, that drama between you and your so called 'best friend'; that weird conversation with that 'maybe' boy, or the time you wore your hair a certain way for months only to discover that it was actually not cool at all. All of those things, whilst I have no doubt were important at the time, suddenly pale in comparison to the real 'drama' in your life. They are trivial when put up against the big decisions, the times when you really didn't know what was going to happen.

We like to believe that in those trivial moments, it really is between life or death, but I think if we all contemplate on our lives enough, we will at least find one time that trumps all other issues or problems. A time when we were scared and it was genuine. A time when we doubted ourselves, our friends and families whilst trying to grapple with the issue.

It is when those curveballs hit us, that we reach out and try to grab all the things that are most important to us, so that all the other insignificant things can slip away. It is when we look around and see who is here. Most importantly however, it is when we look at ourselves and begin to piece together the people that we really are.

That, I believe, is what 'learning to dance in the rain' is about. It is about grabbing onto the things that we have in the moments that we have nothing else, and making it work.

It is about looking around and knowing that whilst things may not even be close to ideal, that you are still alive, alert and awake, and that you have the ability to fix this. You have the ability to make something out of nothing and to truly find yourself when everything else seems lost.

It is in the darker times when the light you find shines the brightest. It is when you have almost lost all hope, when you see hope the most.

When you have the strength to look around you and make light out of the darkness, turn your sorrow into something worth living for, you know you are dancing in the rain.

When you stop walking around with your fists clenched up, preparing to fight with life for the mess it has thrown in your way, and instead walk around with your palms open, ready to receive whatever next should come your way, and build on what you have now, that you will dance in the rain, and no doubt whatever comes out from this rainy period, will be more beautiful and brilliant than anything you would have achieved before.

Sometimes in order to get to the place you want to be in, you have to take a more scenic route, rather than the one that seems to be carved out. But along that route, I can assure you, you will pick up more knowledge and strength, and it will be worth it in the end.

So learn to dance in the rain, let your rain boots fill up with water, as you learn more about yourself in those moments than you do at any other time. Take what life gives you and turn it into what you want it to be because life always has a funny way of working out in the end.

-LF, LR, and MG

xxx

Throwaway Terms

"Oh my god I'm literally having a panic attack"
"I'm feeling so depressed right now"
"Don't mind me, just having a stroke"
"That's so gay"

All of these are sentences that I hear pretty much on a day-to-day basis. And I was probably guilty of even using some of these back in the early days of secondary school. They are what I like to think of as "throwaway terms" - using words that have heavy meanings in a lighter way to get a point across, such as "I'm quite nervous" or "I'm a bit sad about this". These hyperbolic ways of expressing emotions may gain a bit of sympathy or maybe a few laughs.

However, the main point that I would like to get across to you here is that words are powerful. 

To you, these may be silly little sentences that you use in order to exaggerate an emotion. To others, this may be there life. 
Depression is a real thing, as spoken in posts here (depression from the external perspective) and here (suicide).
A panic attack is the defence mechanism that your body uses when in fight-or-flight mode, which tells the body that it is legitimately about to die. People suffering from anxiety or panic disorders may experience these on a daily basis.
A stroke is defined as "a sudden disabling attack or loss of consciousness caused by an interruption in the flow of blood to the brain, especially through thrombosis".
Gay is not an insult. It is merely a sexual preference of the same gender as oneself.

It is important that in situations in which you wish to express an emotion, that you do so in a sensible, accurate, non-hyperbolic manner. Obviously this isn't possible all the time, as a drama student I can tell you that I am very prone to exaggeration! But if you are even slightly tempted to use a word that has a heavy meaning in a lighter context, maybe think again.

Thank you for reading, and good luck to everyone getting results!
-LF, LR and MG
xxx

Saving Yourself

Everyone wants to be a superhero. We all want to be that person, the one that is universally admired for their strength in character. That dependable friend that no one could live without. The one that saves everyone in their moment of need, and is always remembered for what they did for other people, less so what they have done for themselves.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not for one second that this is a bad way to be, that we shouldn't try to help others, or save people when they most need it, but what I would like to speak about in this post, is the concept of saving yourself.

Sometimes it may seem that in society the people we consider most worthy and admirable are those that spend their whole lives saving others. Obviously, this is an incredible character trait, and something I could only hope to be like, but what I would like to focus on is that sometimes being your own hero, is the best characteristic that we can achieve.

It is when the days are rough and you need to be tough, that we should be turning to our own built up resilience and using our own will power to drag ourselves out of bed. On days like these, when all you have done is got out of bed and the bare minimum, even when you wanted to let life wash over you in a wave leaving you ignorant to that day's drama and negativity, this is what is called being your own hero.

Sometimes you need to work on your own self belief and bravery before you can go out there are save the world, and thats okay. I believe that each of us somewhere wants to save someone else, but if you take all that energy and use it to save yourself, then that is okay too.

Most people can think of a time when they were barely able to keep their head above the water, and if you were able to do this, even with the weight of life attached to your feet, dragging you down, then you deserve a medal, and if no one has told you so, then you are brave and you are beautiful and you got through something that most people could not.

The biggest reason why I write this post, is actually because I believe that we should be doing more to build ourselves up, instead of what the media and outer negative influences insist we do, which is self-depreciate.

I believe that self-sacrifice should not be glorified, but instead we need to spend more time working on saving ourselves and building ourselves, so that we are able to survive the rocky road that is life.

So save yourself, be your own hero, and then when you are ready go out and save the world, just don't leave it until it is too late for you to live a happy and healthy life, as after all, we are only here once.

LF, LR and MG xxx

Reaching For the Stars

It starts with something small, a little seed that gets planted at the back of your mind, which most of us disregard. Secretly, when you think no one is looking, you put together some ideas. The ball keeps rolling, and without even realising it, you have thought up a whole plan for that thing that just a few weeks prior, was just a seed in the back of your mind.

Even at this point, most of us laugh at our own 'delusion' and remain with our feet planted firmly on the ground, reluctant to entertain the possibility of success, or of making our ideas into a reality. Not because we don't want to, or because we have negative intentions, but because we genuinely believe that we aren't capable of doing so.

But what if I told you, that with some perseverance, planning and positivity, you could lift your feet off the ground, and truly touch the stars? When I look at myself I know that for one reason or another I have put a pin into so many things that I have wanted to do, almost always because I am not confident enough in myself to believe I can pull them off.

However, this year I have had a growth of self-belief starting with this wonderful blog, and in one thing or another, I have realised that there are some steps involved but when you do them, you really can make a successful project come to life. I would like to offer some steps into turning your dreams into a reality:

1) Believe in yourself. To be honest, I think of all the things I could say in this post, telling you to believe in yourself is most probably the most important. There will be people that doubt your idea and there will be times when you will doubt yourself, and tell yourself that there is no way that you can accomplish what you have set out to do. Ignore those doubts, because whether you believe they are justified or not, if you just look slightly past them, then you will reach your success. Self-belief is what will carry you through all the time you spend working on your project. It is what will keep you going through the process, as a constant reminder that you can do this.

2) PLAN. I would say that a big part of being able to actualise your dreams is to plan, and plan big. Work out each stage of your project, and all the mini-steps that it will take to get you there. Write down a list of all the things you will need to do in order to achieve your aims, and ways in which you can complete them. In times of doubt or when things seem overwhelming or unachievable, you will look at your plan and feel reassured that you know where you are going with it, and what you are doing.

3) Be Inspired. I think that the best projects are the ones that you are so deeply connected with, that you are going to try as hard as you can to get them going. The ones that you so desperately want to make successful are usually the ones that go the furthest because of your own inspiration and your own drive to make it happen. I think that this is the key to success and is something that you should bare in mind all the time.

I hope that these three tips will help you in reaching for the stars, but most of all, I would like to share an idea that I put together a few weeks ago. I believe that you should always reach for the stars, even if you can't quite see them. That means working as hard as you can, on something you feel passionately about, even if it doesn't feel like it is being successful, or even if you feel like its not quite going the way you want it to. Working hard on something that you believe in, is genuinely one of the most rewarding experiences I have ever had, something that I experience daily with this blog, and is something that I would encourage all of you to think about.

Reach for the stars, because you never quite know what magic can happen along the way!

-LF, LR and MG
xxx

Courage, Dear Heart

"Courage, dear heart"

This may be one of my favourite quotes of all time, even though it is short and simple, it really speaks to me unlike anything else.

For me, I believe that courage is an attribute that is seriously underrated. Mostly, people see others acting in a courageous way, but don't necessarily identify that behaviour with it actually being an act of courage. For other people however, courage is not how we act, but it is how we are.

The reason why I believe that courage is so underrated, is because no one ever knows what challenges you are fighting. This therefore means that whilst for you, going into a shop and asking an assistant for help, may be the most courageous thing you have done in a long time, for others, opening up about a problem that have, will be the most courageous thing they will ever do.

This is not because some people have less challenges than others, it is because the way we perceive challenges are based on our own experiences. So, in my rational mind, I know that someone coming out as gay, takes so much more courage than I can ever imagine. Just as, for me, opening up about certain events in my life, took all the courage I have.

Whilst one person exerting courage is no different to another, regardless of what scale we may understand it to be on, it is easy to only identify certain things as an act as courage, when really, who are we to judge whether or not something is courageous, coming from that person.

We often neglect to realise that something that is completely normal to us, such as wearing shorts, or going out the house with no make up, or getting out of bed in the morning, is actually one of the most courageous acts for someone that we just don't know about.

This is why, I am therefore proposing that this post celebrates every single one of you out there, who is courageous on a regular basis even without anyone noticing.

To anyone who knows that their greatest struggle at the moment is getting out of bed, but every morning, they summon their courage and they rise to the challenge.

Here's to anyone who suffers with a mental or physical illness which means they are faced with challenges that can mentally and physically cripple them, but they bravely battle them anyway.

And here's to anyone who is just having a bad day or a hard time. To anyone who just needs to know, that even if no one around you is going to tell you this, then we are. We are going to tell all of you that you are brave and strong and you have courage that I could only dream of having.

Courage is hard, and sometimes we don't manage to do what we think we want or need to do, and that's okay too. As long as we remember to celebrate people for what they are able to do, and what they still struggle to do, then thats okay.

It is important to not only celebrate all the times that we have fought to find our courage and won, but also all the times that it just wasn't a fight we could beat.

So here I am now, giving you the tools to empower yourself, and in this way, I hope that everyone comes to recognise the importance of courage and how much it impacts our lives.

-LF, LR, MG

Surviving the Holidays

As study leave looms over us, and we can practically smell summer, most people are thinking about the long days they will spend in bed, followed by the long nights they will spend out, being carefree.

However, for some of you out there, the summer fills you with a sense of dread. For you, summer means six long weeks filled up whatever it is that school takes you away from.

Whether you go to school to escape your families or to see your friends or just because its a safe space, even if you wouldn't admit it out loud, the fact is, six weeks away from school, makes you want to cry.

Sometimes the weekends are long enough, so with that in mind, I'm going to give you some tips of how to survive the long summer months, because its okay not to want to go home!

1) Try and start planning something now. If you have the sort of parents that don't like you to make plans where you are out all day and all night, then make as many plans as you can, without aggravating them. The last thing you want is for them to ban you from going out. Try work within your boundaries to ensure that you live with the least amount of tension possible.

2) Work out your support network. Whether it be a few friends who know how much you don't want to be at home, or a teacher that you can email during the holidays. Try have both, but whatever you have works fine. Promise them that you will update them on whats going on. Don't leave yourself uncontactable for six weeks. You will feel lonely, you will feel isolated and if something happens and you need to get out- this will be the first person you can contact. I can't stress this enough: Don't leave yourself with no one. A helpful tip, once you work out who you are going to trust, speak to them so they know you might need them. They won't mind. Also, be aware that they might be going away, so check when they are here, so if you need them but they aren't around, you don't panic.

3) Get a job. Even if you don't need the money, which lets be honest, isn't that probable, because everyone needs money! It will buy you time out the house, whilst giving you a purpose, and letting your parents think that you are doing something with your life. All things that will help you get through the summer.

4) Find a hobby that keeps you busy. Take up a sport, or an art, or to be honest, anything that will keep you busy. Find something that will take you a few hours a day, or a few hours a week, preferably something you enjoy, or something you think you will grow to love.

5) Find a safe chat room to talk if you need. Go onto childline.com or 7cupsoftea and vent or ask for advice if you don't think you can do it, or you just need a space to yell.

6) Most importantly, stay safe and stay heard. Keep in contact with someone every day. When it gets too much, say so and go out, or spend the night at a friend. Don't do anything wreck less, but if you need to get out, then go. Your mental and physical health comes first, so please don't forget that. Don't forget to eat and sleep.

Don't forget that you are a beautiful person and no matter what you are inevitably going to have to face over the summer, that you are going to be okay. You will survive it, because you always have done, and when you get back to school after the summer or study leave, or even the weekend, you made it.

I believe in you, I really do.

Please if you need anything feel free to comment. You are reading this post from someone who is speaking from experience, so I am here for all of you.

-LF, LR and MG

How Not To Be Squashed By Exam Stress

Everyone knows what we mean when we say the summer term. Long gone are the happy memories of extended break time in the sun, t-shirts and shorts or summer dresses. The mixture of suncream and ice cream wafting in through the open classroom windows.

All that disappeared as most of us hit year ten, with it intensifying for year 11-13. Now when someone mentions the summer term, you see a bunch of 15-18 year olds cringing, significantly tensing up, tears welling in their stressed out eyes.

We all know that with May and June approaching, summer term turns into exam season. Counting down the days until our first exam and then to the last, before we are free! However, on some level or another, exams are known to cause a lot of distress and in the worst cases can trigger intense anxiety, depression and cause us to malfunction because we are unable to survive copious amounts of pressure that piles up as exams loom closer.

So how to survive?! Revision is a must, and the long days can sometimes be too much for people to take. Here are some tips that should get you through the summer months:

1) Each day set yourself reasonable targets of what you want to achieve. Try to set a small list of things that you know you will be able to accomplish if you stick to schedule. Some people find a timetable the most effective way to do this, but personally, a list works just find, ticking the things you have done as you go. This way at the end of each day, you will feel that you have achieved what you needed to do, and end off by feeling good about yourself and your progress instead of overwhelmed and like you are unable to meet your targets. This way you will maintain a hard working and positive attitude that will see you through the exam period.

2) Sleep. (I don't mean between 3am to 12pm.) I mean sleep long, workable hours. Aim for about eight hours a night, with an early start so that you can be productive from the beginning of the day and finish revision as early as possible. The less time spent working in the evening the better, in order to get a good break and prepare yourself for the next day. Sleep is a time for your body and your brain to get optimum rest, so don't miss out on it, because it will affect your revision outcomes.

3) Maintaining a healthy diet and drinking water. This is something that is often preached about, but seriously can actually have a big effect. It is proven that a healthy body can equal a healthy mind, and therefore, eating three good meals a day, with a snack in between can alter your progress and help you in feeling better and more productive during the day.

4) Take breaks! It is unhealthy to be stuck inside all day! I suggest working in a room with windows, natural daylight is important, and opening your window will make the room brighter and help you to focus with fresh air. After you tick off one thing on your list, take a 15-20 minute break, helping you re-cooperate and will also keep you focused when you are working. Once a day, take a longer break, say 45 minutes and go for a walk, get fresh air and some exercise, both things that have significantly improved my progress in revision.

Those are just some techniques that help me to calm down and stay focused. Exam stress for the most part is inevitable, but as long as you practise calming techniques, as listed above, you will hopefully give yourself enough breathing space to remember that you are going to do it.

I would say that the best way not to be squashed by exam stress is to remember one very important thing:

Yes, exams are important and no one is denying that. However, exams are not the only important thing. They do not define who you are as a person and what you are going to be like for the rest of your life. They do help shape your future, but there are so many other factors that shape your future, not just exams. Sometimes you just need to go for a walk or have a chat with a friend to remind yourself that life will go on, and the most important thing is that you retain your mental and physical health, not that you pass your exams but have become a wreck as well.

At the end of the day, we should not be letting a bunch of letters on a sheet of paper define who we are or what we are worth as people, and when you find yourself being swallowed up by the idea that your exams are the be all and end all, take a step out, read this post, and remind yourself that you are worth so much more that some grades on a piece of paper, and you should never forget that.

-LF, LR and MG

How to Stay Strong

Hope is a funny thing. You keep telling yourself that it will get better, but deep down, in the pit of your stomach, where all your anxieties live, you can't help but remind yourself that although at some point it may get better, it still hasn't yet.

Here is the thing, even in your darkest moment, on your darkest days, you have to remember that you can do it. You have to remember that you are as strong as you need to be and that no matter what life throws at you, you are capable.

Because in the end, everyone has pain, its whether or not you chose to suffer with it: that is key.

You have to take a deep breath, and remember that whatever is going on now, isn't permanent, and that there is going to be a time where this time in your life when you spent days and weeks not being able to look past it, fades into the past.

There is going to be a time, where you are living your life the way that you want to, with everything behind you.

Hold on to that thought, and don't let go. No matter what happens, if you have that thought of 'its going to be okay' then it will be okay.

A lot of the time, we believe that things happen to us are going to break us, not build us. But you have to hold on to the fact that the darkest times come just before dawn, and that if you can just wait it out until the morning, and keep on fighting, then it is going to be worth it.

I promise you, that no matter how hard it gets, no matter how many times you break down and you tell yourself that you can't do it anymore, you can do it.

You are so much stronger than you think. Never ever forget that.

It is always ok to feel like you just can't do it anymore, it is always ok to feel that nothing is ever going to get fixed, as long as you remember that it will. As long as you remember that it is worth the fight, it is worth the tears. Because at some point, it will come right.

What will be, will be. But as long as you know you have done everything you could to help yourself, then whatever happens will happen for the good.

I can't tell you that whats going on in your life is as a result of anything, but I can tell you that it is going to build you into the most incredible person. And that when you smile, it isn't the smile of a broken person, it is the smile of a warrior.

The smile of a person, who has built their self on strength, on bravery and on kindness. On the basis that one day, one day they are going to get there. One day they are going to look back and smile, and say that they did it.

And if you never forget any of that, then you will stay strong. You will stay strong until the very end, and I believe in you.

Please remember to speak out and speak now, if you are having a hard time staying strong.

-LF, LR and MG

A poem about Anxiety

There is a monster,
Living in my head.
His name is anxiety.

There are times, 
When anxiety is all I can hear.
All I can think about.
He sits in my brain, and controls me.

Pulling my strings,
Manipulating me like a puppet,
Forcing me to listen. To give in.

He knows my weaknesses,
How to make me ill.
Twisting my thoughts,
Until he has got what he wants.

Some days his voice is quiet,
Barely there.
He is easy to ignore.

But other days, he is the only thing I can hear.
He blocks everything else out,
And hurts me.
He does it on purpose. 

Anxiety gets jealous,
When i don't listen to him.
He doesn't like it when I am strong,
Only when I am weak. 

The battle is on going,
And is not likely to stop.
For every day I win, 
He is weakened.

But everyday he wins,
I loose everything.

-LR

Fighting Anxiety

The thing about anxiety is that, at first, it slowly and stealthily creeps into the back of your mind, but then, before you know it, it has taken over and controls the way you think, talk, act and function.

Just like with other mental illnesses, we are unable to predict General Anxiety Disorder and how it will affect us. Some people stride through life, barely anxious about anything and carry on as though they are as light as a feather. However, for others, it is not that simple. Anxiety has a way of dragging you down, making you over-analyse and scrutinise every single action you make or word that you say, to the point where you can't function properly.

Staggering statistics show, that 1 in 5 people suffer with feeling anxious for some or most of the time. This is important to realise because although anxiety is "the most prevalent mental health disease" in the UK, it is the most "under reported, under-diagnosed and under-treated" Which also highlights other problems such as lack of awareness, which ultimately and unsurprisingly, is caused by lack of education.

Some common signs and symptoms of anxiety are: Feelings of fear, panic and uneasiness; problems sleeping; cold sweaty hands or feet, shortness of breath; heart palpitations; inability to be still and calm; dry mouth, nausea; muscle tension; dizziness or panic attacks. These are not all the symptoms, but are very commons ones, which can help you identify whether you are suffering with this illness.

Now, we would like to give you some coping techniques that we hope will provide you with ways in which you can help yourself, and will also give you the courage and strength to seek more professional help, if the symptoms do not subside.

1) Take deep, calming breaths. We know it sounds very simple, but it actually works wonders. Breathing in through your nose, and out through your mouth a few times, can help clear your mind from the initial panic, will help you see things more clearly, and will also enable you to relieve some of the building tension you may feel particularly in your chest, shoulders and neck.

2) Try to rationalise.  The thing about anxiety, is that it has a way of taking even the most insignificant sounding scenarios and turning them into a full blown nightmare in your head. Try to put back the root of the fear, or if you can't find the root, the thing you are most worried about, into context. Place it back where it came from, and try to find logical and conclusive evidence that either supports your worry, or shrinks it back down to normal size. This can be quite hard to do, so try talking it out with someone you trust, or writing it down.

3) Find a nice, quiet spot to sit. Just by clearing your head from all the noise and commotion around you, sitting down, and relaxing for a few moments, you may be able to calm down the thing that feels too much.

4) Talking things through. Often, the reason why we get in such a mess, is because we let the thing go round and round in our heads until it is wildly out of proportion and causing us great difficultly. Just by finding someone you trust, to talk to about it, can help you greatly and relieve the pain and weight from your shoulders.

5) With two fingers, tap the back of your other hand. Using this when you are anxious allows you to let out your feelings, by tapping very quickly. After a while of doing this, start to slow down and in turn, your breaths and eventually your heart rate will slow down with it. This method, can be very calming and comforting.

These are just four, basic things that we hope will reduce particularly the imminent anxiety that you may feel. Although, under rated, anxiety really does affect people sometimes critically, so please, if you yourself, or someone you know suffers with anxiety and is receiving no help for it, don't forget to speak out and speak now so that you can help yourself.

Sometimes these things feel like they are going to swallow us up whole, but once you get help, you will be able to clear your mind and begin to walk on the path that you want to go on, not the one that anxiety is steering you towards.

-LF, LR and MG