Do you ever accidentally feel intensely jealous of another person?
I know this is a strange way of phrasing something, but the term 'accidentally jealous' defines how I'm currently feeling.
Let's just say that a friend of yours is an extremely high achiever. Whether they are naturally clever or not, they always end up with the top results of the class, or even the year group. This person's results have got absolutely nothing to do with you. The results that you achieved were fine, they helped you move onto the next step...so why do you feel bad?
Let's just say that you and a friend are both auditioning for a play. The two of you have roles that you aspire to get, but by the end, your friend gains a fantastic role. You should feel so pleased for this person - great, they've managed to squeeze through such a tricky, competitive competition and gain a brilliant part in the play. Yet there's a huge pang of sorrow in your heart - should you not have got the role?
Let's just say that your friend has a crush on another person within your friendship group. After a few months, they act upon it and become boyfriend and girlfriend. (Or same sex - my example may-or-may-not be based on real life). You are extremely excited for your friends, who have found a whole new happiness in each other and in themselves. But you start to think about the amount of 'friends' that you have liked a little (or a LOT) more than a friend...why did things not end up like that between the two of you?
I like to call this 'accidental jealousy'. Where you know that rationally, you should feel happy for another person, when you actually feel a little bit sad that you are not in the same/similar position.
It has occurred to me recently that this is not a rare thing and, in fact, is quite normal. After all, that role was made for you, you deserved those As and that boy that you liked should definitely have been into you - like have you seen your reflection??!!
Anyway, I feel like this is okay. It is okay to feel this way. So long as it's only a short while. You need to find away to put those feelings aside, shove them into a box and lock it, so that you can be a pleasure to be around again. You can't necessarily vocalise these feelings as it may come back around and slap you in the face. And you certainly cannot lose confidence over it. So life seems to be going in favour of your friends right now, but your time is coming.
-LF, LR and MG
xxx
Showing posts with label speak. Show all posts
Showing posts with label speak. Show all posts
Monday, 19 October 2015
Thursday, 13 August 2015
Throwaway Terms
"Oh my god I'm literally having a panic attack"
"I'm feeling so depressed right now"
"Don't mind me, just having a stroke"
"That's so gay"
All of these are sentences that I hear pretty much on a day-to-day basis. And I was probably guilty of even using some of these back in the early days of secondary school. They are what I like to think of as "throwaway terms" - using words that have heavy meanings in a lighter way to get a point across, such as "I'm quite nervous" or "I'm a bit sad about this". These hyperbolic ways of expressing emotions may gain a bit of sympathy or maybe a few laughs.
However, the main point that I would like to get across to you here is that words are powerful.
To you, these may be silly little sentences that you use in order to exaggerate an emotion. To others, this may be there life.
Depression is a real thing, as spoken in posts here (depression from the external perspective) and here (suicide).
A panic attack is the defence mechanism that your body uses when in fight-or-flight mode, which tells the body that it is legitimately about to die. People suffering from anxiety or panic disorders may experience these on a daily basis.
A stroke is defined as "a sudden disabling attack or loss of consciousness caused by an interruption in the flow of blood to the brain, especially through thrombosis".
Gay is not an insult. It is merely a sexual preference of the same gender as oneself.
It is important that in situations in which you wish to express an emotion, that you do so in a sensible, accurate, non-hyperbolic manner. Obviously this isn't possible all the time, as a drama student I can tell you that I am very prone to exaggeration! But if you are even slightly tempted to use a word that has a heavy meaning in a lighter context, maybe think again.
Thank you for reading, and good luck to everyone getting results!
-LF, LR and MG
xxx
"I'm feeling so depressed right now"
"Don't mind me, just having a stroke"
"That's so gay"
All of these are sentences that I hear pretty much on a day-to-day basis. And I was probably guilty of even using some of these back in the early days of secondary school. They are what I like to think of as "throwaway terms" - using words that have heavy meanings in a lighter way to get a point across, such as "I'm quite nervous" or "I'm a bit sad about this". These hyperbolic ways of expressing emotions may gain a bit of sympathy or maybe a few laughs.
However, the main point that I would like to get across to you here is that words are powerful.
To you, these may be silly little sentences that you use in order to exaggerate an emotion. To others, this may be there life.
Depression is a real thing, as spoken in posts here (depression from the external perspective) and here (suicide).
A panic attack is the defence mechanism that your body uses when in fight-or-flight mode, which tells the body that it is legitimately about to die. People suffering from anxiety or panic disorders may experience these on a daily basis.
A stroke is defined as "a sudden disabling attack or loss of consciousness caused by an interruption in the flow of blood to the brain, especially through thrombosis".
Gay is not an insult. It is merely a sexual preference of the same gender as oneself.
It is important that in situations in which you wish to express an emotion, that you do so in a sensible, accurate, non-hyperbolic manner. Obviously this isn't possible all the time, as a drama student I can tell you that I am very prone to exaggeration! But if you are even slightly tempted to use a word that has a heavy meaning in a lighter context, maybe think again.
Thank you for reading, and good luck to everyone getting results!
-LF, LR and MG
xxx
Thursday, 11 June 2015
How to Bite Your Tongue
Sometimes, you come across some genuinely lovely people. They comfort you when you're down and never cease to put a smile across your face. They are warm, welcoming and just downright great people.
Sometimes, you meet people who are the exact opposite. Every little thing that they do grates on you and some things seem as if they are doing it with you in mind, purely because they know you wouldn't like it. You will never get used to their ignorance and attention-seeking behaviour, which contrasts so greatly to your own nature.
It seems impossible to stop yourself from speaking your mind and telling this person how you truly feel. Though there are some things to bare in mind...
1) Words are powerful
It is easy to forget that words hold so much power and meaning which can cause people to have their feelings hurt, and you never know the kinds of effects that words may have on them.
2) Everyone has something going on
After all, these people are human too. They may be acting horrible because there is so much going on with them at home that they need to take it out on the nearest person, which just so happened to be you.
3) It is okay to talk to other people
Rather than taking your anger out on this person or other people, it is okay to seek expert advice. If they are genuinely out to get you, I urge you to speak to a parent or teacher to see what they say. After all, they have enough experience to share some brilliant advice with you.
That is all I have to remember when it comes to situations like these. If you have any extra advice or have specific situations that you want to share, I urge you to leave a comment and we can do our best to help. It may be useful due to the anonymity of this blog.
Remember, we are here to help.
- LF, LR and MG
xxx
Sometimes, you meet people who are the exact opposite. Every little thing that they do grates on you and some things seem as if they are doing it with you in mind, purely because they know you wouldn't like it. You will never get used to their ignorance and attention-seeking behaviour, which contrasts so greatly to your own nature.
It seems impossible to stop yourself from speaking your mind and telling this person how you truly feel. Though there are some things to bare in mind...
1) Words are powerful
It is easy to forget that words hold so much power and meaning which can cause people to have their feelings hurt, and you never know the kinds of effects that words may have on them.
2) Everyone has something going on
After all, these people are human too. They may be acting horrible because there is so much going on with them at home that they need to take it out on the nearest person, which just so happened to be you.
3) It is okay to talk to other people
Rather than taking your anger out on this person or other people, it is okay to seek expert advice. If they are genuinely out to get you, I urge you to speak to a parent or teacher to see what they say. After all, they have enough experience to share some brilliant advice with you.
That is all I have to remember when it comes to situations like these. If you have any extra advice or have specific situations that you want to share, I urge you to leave a comment and we can do our best to help. It may be useful due to the anonymity of this blog.
Remember, we are here to help.
- LF, LR and MG
xxx
Wednesday, 15 April 2015
On Suicide
Truthfully, I do not know too much information on this subject, which is the exact point of this post.
On average, 1 person commits suicide every 16.2 minutes.
Nearly 400,000 people attempt suicide in the U.S. every year.
Alcoholism plays a role in 1 out 3 cases of suicide.
And yet I don't know much on this topic.
As such a common incident, suicide remains one of those topics that people to this day brush away in hope that the issue will shrink and eventually vanish. People still attach this stigma to the issue of suicide, which is not okay.
I read a book last month titled 'All the Bright Places' by Jennifer Niven. (I promise, there will be no huge spoilers here). The basic plot is that two teenagers, who attend the same high school, meet each other at the top of the school's bell tower, about to jump off. The novel proceeds to follow the two characters' stories and how they affected each other's lives.
This book struck a nerve in me. Not necessarily because of the story or the writing style - which are both fantastic - but the author's note at the end. Niven explains that her Great Grandfather was a victim of suicide, as was somebody that she had become extremely close to. Though she wasn't close to her relative, the issue of suicide remained prominent in her life and also the lives of her family. She felt that she didn't know enough about the topic and wishes to this day that she could have done something to help.
I would like to direct you to the website http://www.suicide.org/. This is a phenomenal website which is filled with rich information on suicide, including facts, statistics and helplines. This website is thoroughly important and is the perfect website to go to if you are in need.
One message from Kevin Caruso that I would like to share here is what he wrote about how to talk to a suicidal person. He explains that there are five steps:
1) Listen attentively
2) Offer words of encouragement and support
3) Let the person know that you are deeply concerned
4) If the person is at high risk, do not leave them alone
5) Talk openly about suicide
I urge you to take a look at this website, and also to speak up about suicide. It could help a huge amount of people.
Thank you for reading,
- LF, LR and MG
On average, 1 person commits suicide every 16.2 minutes.
Nearly 400,000 people attempt suicide in the U.S. every year.
Alcoholism plays a role in 1 out 3 cases of suicide.
And yet I don't know much on this topic.
As such a common incident, suicide remains one of those topics that people to this day brush away in hope that the issue will shrink and eventually vanish. People still attach this stigma to the issue of suicide, which is not okay.
I read a book last month titled 'All the Bright Places' by Jennifer Niven. (I promise, there will be no huge spoilers here). The basic plot is that two teenagers, who attend the same high school, meet each other at the top of the school's bell tower, about to jump off. The novel proceeds to follow the two characters' stories and how they affected each other's lives.
This book struck a nerve in me. Not necessarily because of the story or the writing style - which are both fantastic - but the author's note at the end. Niven explains that her Great Grandfather was a victim of suicide, as was somebody that she had become extremely close to. Though she wasn't close to her relative, the issue of suicide remained prominent in her life and also the lives of her family. She felt that she didn't know enough about the topic and wishes to this day that she could have done something to help.
I would like to direct you to the website http://www.suicide.org/. This is a phenomenal website which is filled with rich information on suicide, including facts, statistics and helplines. This website is thoroughly important and is the perfect website to go to if you are in need.
One message from Kevin Caruso that I would like to share here is what he wrote about how to talk to a suicidal person. He explains that there are five steps:
1) Listen attentively
2) Offer words of encouragement and support
3) Let the person know that you are deeply concerned
4) If the person is at high risk, do not leave them alone
5) Talk openly about suicide
I urge you to take a look at this website, and also to speak up about suicide. It could help a huge amount of people.
Thank you for reading,
- LF, LR and MG
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