Greatness?

I would say that the greatest people are not those who suffer or those that glide through life, untouchable and unscathed. But instead, those that go through life exactly like the rest of us: with all its bumps in the road, both good times and bad. Managing times that are extremely insufferable as well as things that are just the same mundane normal. But what sets great people apart from everyone else, is their ability to experience all these things, whilst simultaneously making something of themselves. Something that will set them apart from everyone else, because whilst it may not be obvious to others, these are the people that no matter the situation are able to retain their own sense of belief, faith and self – something that agreeably sets them apart.

The troubling thing however, is how we can maintain this no matter what the circumstances are. It does not seem human to be able to remain upbeat even in the hardest of times, but what is more, to consistently stay motivated to carry on, through this relentless journey of life. It seems almost robotic to expect those that are great to be able to uphold a certain standard, regardless of what they may be facing. Their perceived greatness almost dictates this assurance, that they will remain consistent in their beliefs, always sure of who they are and where they are going. It is therefore our need of someone else’s greatness, rather than to be great ourselves that we thirst for.

I would then perhaps say that whilst being great is what we look for, in some ways, a deeper version of ourselves does not strive for ‘greatness’ but it strives for motivation. It longs for that feeling of purpose and responsibility. The knowledge that what you are doing has meaning and the effort you are putting in now, will allow you to reap rewards in the future. You want to know that you are sowing the seeds right now, for a life later where you will stand in the midst of your fields, reaping in the produce of tiresome hard work, that months before seemed like an impossible task.

So maybe then, if it is motivation that we seek, less so ‘greatness’ then we admire in those we perceive to be ‘great’ not their ability to remain consistent throughout, but their motivation to see that their actions now will still contribute to whatever the consequence may be later. The ability to remain faithful to the idea that we must continue no matter what else life presents us with, so that one day we will be presented with the reward that we have earned.

Rather we must learn to maintain faithfulness in our actions and seek to work in an area that we find fulfilling in order that our ‘greatness’ comes easier. For ‘greatness’ I believe, cannot be measured in the amount that we suffer, but instead is measured individually, on what we do with the means that we have to turn whatever it is, into something of worth.

-LF, LR and MG xx

And so it ends

My school is a funny place. My school is a crazy place. My school, isn't really a school at all. Seven years at the most ridiculous, loving, nurturing, educational institution has taught me lots of things.

Yes, it's taught me English, Maths, Science, History, Geography and a modern language. But it also taught me compassion, maturity, understanding and depth. My school gave me friends, but most importantly, my school gave me a family. A safe space, a place to go when it felt like the whole world had turned their back on me.

My school, in all its strange and innately unorganised ways taught me to be who I am and to be proud. It taught me to love myself, to respect myself, and to love and respect others - no matter who they are and where they come from.

And so, as my long and strange journey comes to an end, I feel the need to write about my school, a place that has seen me grow up more than any place else.

My school gave me role models. It gave me the opportunity to grow up with the most unbelievable positive influences surrounding me. People that showed me that there were ways to be good, kind, honest and dedicated people, all the while being real. People that demonstrated real strength. People that were smart and sweet, badass and funny. These people that brought me up, and showed me kindness for no reason other than that is the kind of people that they are.

A while ago, my friend and I discussed that my school is pretty much run by strong, successful and powerful women - and how cool that was. But I think it goes beyond that. Because growing up with strong, beautiful, unbelievable women who all have their own stories, some of which I have been privileged enough to know, has showed me how to be a strong, successful and groundbreaking women. It has showed me how to achieve my goals and how to build myself up, whilst building up others around me.

My school also showed me how to be brave. It allowed me to fight on my own, and also to fight with support. They showed me how to love and care and cry all the while doing things for other people.

My school has given me so much more than I can ever give it. My teachers have taught me more than I can even begin to explain. My friends have shown me friendship that has an unlimited capacity. And whist this all sounds very cliche, I can't even begin to explain how it really is not.

Because yes, my school is a school. It teaches English, Maths and Science. But my school has taught and given me so much more. And for that, I will always be grateful.

I don't think words will ever really be able to fully express how much my school has done for me, and moreover, how much I am going to miss it and everyone in it. But in my school we have a saying - 'you can take the girl out of Hasmo, but you can't take the Hasmo out of the girl.' And as much as I know that is true, I really hope it will be the same for me.

-LF, LR and MG xxx

Swimming in the Dark

The best bit about swimming is the silence under water. At the surface everything is going on - kids splashing and shouting, adults doing lengths and kicking. It is pretty chaotic above the water. But when you immerse yourself in the water, it feels like silence is falling like a blanket over your head. You can see everything going on, but there is a stillness that pervades the air. That's my favourite part, when everything is crazy and loud but all it takes is ducking under the water and suddenly everything just slows down and there is near silence.

When things are crazy around me, I often try and escape in my head to that place under the water. I close my eyes and imagine the silence and stillness that makes me so calm. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. But when it does, I can escape to a place that no one else has access to. 

Sometimes life can be really isolating. Your experiences are yours and yours only, and although that means that you have within you a very specific and special set of tools, it also means that sometimes you get lonely. And sometimes you get so lonely that the whole world feels like it's filled up with water, and you're trapped inside a really big, lonely, swimming pool. But instead of feeling light and free, you feel scared and alone. Really really alone. 

The worst part of this feeling is that not only can no one access you, but you can't reach anyone either. It feels like everything around you is unreachable, locked. And the silence that you used to love begins to drive you mad, and makes you want to run in the rain or smash plates at a wall or scream into a pillow, just to break the boundary between sound and silence. 

And although you can't pinpoint the silence, or work out what is making you so sad, all you can do is wait until the feeling has surpassed, wait until your head comes up from the water, and you can breathe again. Sometimes this takes minutes, sometimes it takes days, or months and for some people it takes years. 

But when it feels like there are rocks in your stomach, or pains in your heart, like your ears are blocked or your head is filled with cotton wool, you should just know that sooner or later, you will regain feeling. You'll take a really deep breath one day and begin to hear your heart beating once more. So just hold on. 

You know, I write these posts to write the truth, to expose something to other people, and to educate. But more often than not, I write these posts to myself, because sometimes the words that are hardest to hear are the ones we feel the deepest. So to me, and to you, your head will come back out of the water soon, I promise.

LF, LR and MG xx

Award Show Culture

Tis' the season to watch award shows. But instead of the usual jolly-ness, this year, award show season seems to be filled with pent up controversy, disguised haters and snide comments. Whilst its always nice to see your favourite artists being recognised for their talent and hard work and general sunshine (AKA Taylor Swift) I have a major problem with award show culture.

Award show culture breeds hatred between artists, and perpetuates a society where people feel they have to 'one-up' each other all the time. The fact is, anyone nominated for an award, and artists not nominated for awards either, should all be celebrated for their contributions to the arts community. That being said, I don't wish to take those achievements away from those worthy artists, I just don't like the way it breeds an understanding that artists have to 'beat each other out' in order to be recognised.

The next issue I have with award show culture, and one that I know has been recognised widely this year, particularly with the Oscars, which is the extremely obvious lack of representation these shows offer. Talent is not restricted to one particular race, ethnicity or religion, so why should recognition of these talents be restricted by the limitations we place on them. It bothers me tremendously that the nominations continually bypass the most worthy of candidates because they don't represent the same culture or ethnicity that they do. Lets have more representation people!

Moving on, the next issue I have is the way award shows force people to degrade artists under the disguise of supporting another one. In particular, since social media has become such an integral platform for opinions and grievances, people and celebrities included will stop at nothing to voice how they really feel. Hiding behind your screen does not excuse the words that are out on the internet forever, and I think this is yet another example of the way celebrity culture blinds us from the someone's true character. Celebrities, don't think just because you're high and mighty it excuses you from having a sense of dignity online and slagging off other artists isn't noticed, or part of perpetuating the problem.

So yes, whilst it is nice to watch celebs being celebrated for their contribution to music or art or television, lets not forget that award show culture has the ability to breed hatred, and this is something that must be recognised.

-LF, LR and MG xxx

New Year Thoughts (LR)

I know technically its a bit late to share my reflections on the past year, but I was on a plane when I should have been blogging this, so you'll have to excuse me! I would like to share my reflections on 2015 with everyone because 2015 taught me a lot of valuable lessons.

2015 has been a year of many things for me. Mostly, it has been a year of change. Every year I laugh to myself as I reflect back on all the events of the past year, and wonder how I got through. This year however, I look back, reflecting on all the choices I made, that brought me to this point. 

2015 was no less arduous. In fact, 2015 probably left more scars and bruises then any previous years. But it also taught me more lessons then any other year to date. 2015 was the year I made decisions for myself regardless of the things outside my control, and furthermore, it was the year I decided to let go of things I could not control and allow myself to focus from within. 

2015 was a year of gratitude. It was the year I saw for the first time really clearly, how unbelievable all the people around me are. It was the year I started saying thank you for all the things people do for me. 

2015 was the year I realized how much I love writing. It was a year I sought after my passion, and tried to utilize that in order to change the world. 

2015 was the year I realized the person I want to become, and started making small steps in the right direction. 

2015 was the year I experienced heartache, adverse challenges, stress, fear, anger and intense anxiety. But it was also the year unlike many previous, where I didn’t let that dominate who I am. 2015 was the year I chose to change my state of mind instead of changing all the uncontrollable things around me. It was the year I learnt that the greatest power I have is the strength that comes from within. 

2015 was the year I fought hardest for the people I love the most, and won. it was a year of continual decision making and it was a year that showed me that I can do it. 

2015 was the year I decided to be more positive, it was a year that I worked on my mental strength harder than I have ever done before. 2015 was the year I let myself make decisions I would never have done before. It was the year I started to look forward to a future, it was a year of building bridges, and in some cases, it was a year of burning bridges too. 

2015 was the year I learnt things about myself and about the world every single day, and was the year that I let go of the past, and moved on towards the future.  

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year

- LR xxx

New Year Thoughts (LF)

The reason that I am writing this post is because I was inspired by one of my closest friends' tweets. She wrote:

"This year needs to say bye bye"

and this got me thinking. Retrospectively, I don't think that 2015 was a bad year for me. I became more body confident, spent my entire summer having amazing experiences - work related or not, stopped biting my nails, completed my UCAS form and went for 3/5 of my interview days for universities, continued with my old hobbies and found some more, rekindled some old friendships and created new ones.

However, as I went through each month of this year, it didn't give off the same impression. I had mock exams, followed by the real things, grade disappointments, intense nostalgia, family struggles, anxiety surrounding events that I should not have been nervous for and many tears.

But as the year comes to a close, I am beginning to almost forget about those not-so-great times. I can now leave 2015 with the thought of it being not such a bad year for me. I know that in reality, it just wasn't great, but I think that the beauty of 2015 is that it is in the past now. If I cling onto those negative feelings, I won't be able to move on with my life. I won't be able to fully enjoy the rest of my final year of school, turning 18, prom, the extremely long summer holiday, and eventually (and hopefully) starting my university career.

I say this every year, but I think that 2016 will be my year. But this time, I am not just saying it. I am going to go out of my way to make sure that when I am a mother watching my children enter their 18th year in this world, I will be able to say "I loved being 18, it was one of my favourite years".

Obviously there are many aspects of my life that are out of my control, as with everyone. When it comes to those parts, it won't be that I will rise up and change things myself because I physically cannot do that. I feel like instead, it will be a change in mindset, which I will 100% benefit from. Instead of putting myself down all the time, I'm going to turn that around and positive thinking should come with rewards.

I also want to enter 2016 with the attitude that I will post more; I can't believe that I haven't posted since October!

Happy new year everyone <3

-LF, LR and MG
xxx