The best thing about taking exams, is the feeling you have as you get up for the last time, as the person at the front comes round to collect your paper, and dismiss you. The invisible chain that has kept you anchored to your desk for the last two months has been cut off and you are now allowed to do whatever you want, guilt free.
That feeling is a mixture of freedom and relief, but also, it is the knowledge that you have now done everything in your power to make sure that whatever result you get is because you did all you could do. Part of the freedom and relief is knowing that whatever happens next is not up to you anymore.
Although over the summer the impending nausea that surrounds the word 'results' remains, in general, anyone expecting results likes to push the idea out of their minds and dull the scary notion of the future, with the summer.
It is in the days leading up to results day that we begin to re-examine our own performances, making false predictions as to what we have passed or what we have failed. Who we will be disappointing this year, and the many ways in which we will have to make amends to those people. Regardless of how well we suspect we may have done, there is hardly a person in the country that is making positive predictions in an attempt to hopefully far supersede the doubtfully low expectations that you have been subtly trying to work into your parents heads.
Finally the day comes, and you open your results. Staring at the letters that effectively spell out your future. For some people, this moment is filled with relief, you thank your lucky stars that you have met your own requirements along with the ones of your parents, the college, sixth form or university that you want to attend, and spend the rest of the day celebrating.
However, this year in particular, and I'm sure in other years too, there seems to be a large proportion of people that have come out of results day, with more painful consequences. Some people have got grades that they secretly suspected they would but hoped would never actually be true. But some people are genuinely flabbergasted by their results, shocked and disappointed at the view of letters far less satisfactory than the first three of the alphabet.
Faced with the possibility of your future slipping away through your fingers, you try to think of things that you can do to make this whole thing go away. The only thing you can think of is that this must be a mistake.
But what if I told you this actually was a mistake;
This year, I have heard countless tales of people in my year at school and in other schools across the board, who have had their papers remarked, and been regraded totally different grades. I have a friend who was moved up 18 marks, and another who went up 11. This madness is what makes me write this letter in the first places.
Careless examiners are messing with peoples lives.
Not everyone has the money to remark papers, especially not at the ridiculous prices that you are expected to pay for the privilege. I accept that the exam board will reimburse you for the money you lay out initially if the grade changes, but that is irrelevant because these mistakes should not be made in the first place.
What about all the people who decide not to remark because they don't believe their mark will change?
What about all the people who don't have the money to layout and have to go the rest of their lives wondering if their mark could have been something else?
What about all the people who just give up?
What about all the people who lose their university places and end up on a different path than what they were supposed to?
What about all the people who feel as if they have failed, all the heartbreak and stress over a false mark.
My future, and everyone else's lies in the details because when one examiner makes a mistake, it can cost a lot more than £40 per re-mark to fix.
I understand that examiners are humans and humans make mistakes, but at the end of the day these are mistakes that people cannot afford to make.
I hope that people have better luck in the future, and that from now on, examiners will pay attention to the details more than they have been, because that is where the future lies.
-LF, LR and MG
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Monday, 7 September 2015
Tuesday, 25 August 2015
Five Letters, Make It or Break It.
Trust. Somewhat of an abstract concept, as it seems to be a prerequisite to so many things. Any relationship without trust would seem to mock the foundation of which most relationships are built on. But what happens if you don't know who to trust? Or if you're not in a place in your life where trust comes easy to you.
Whilst being over-trusting comes hand in hand with naivety, people who don't trust at all are viewed as jaded and guarded. So really, is there a way for us all to win?
I personally find myself constantly battling between the two; I confide way too easily when I feel comfortable with some people, but with other people, I remain constantly wary and distant.
In some cases, trust can be so easy to build, but destroyed even quicker and in other cases the opposite applies.
I think it is important to be able to trust, we should be able to open our eyes and our minds to people and see the good where possible. Having trust is about having faith in other people that they are who they say they are. Having trust is about believing in the good and trying to remain at peace with the world.
Sometimes it doesn't work out, people can screw you over and leave you wounded. I don't deny that possibility because it has certainly happened to me and no doubt to all of you as well. The feeling of betrayal sucks, I am the first to admit it, but I think that building trust over time can solve that.
It is true that on the occasion you should jump into a relationship with two feet, but sometimes you just need to dip your toe in the water first, before jumping in full swing.
I think learning that trust can be a double edged sword can be both the smartest thing you realise and the worst thing to know at all.
Trust is confusing, it can make or break you. I think by writing this post I hoped to come to some conclusion as to how to deal with trust, but the truth is, I think every relationship is different. I think that some people are trust worthy and others aren't, so we shouldn't tar someone with the same brush.
I guess I wanted to end this with some sort of clarity, but instead I am going to end my post with and open ended thought.
Five Letters, Make it or Break it; You Choose.
-LF, LR and MG xx
Whilst being over-trusting comes hand in hand with naivety, people who don't trust at all are viewed as jaded and guarded. So really, is there a way for us all to win?
I personally find myself constantly battling between the two; I confide way too easily when I feel comfortable with some people, but with other people, I remain constantly wary and distant.
In some cases, trust can be so easy to build, but destroyed even quicker and in other cases the opposite applies.
I think it is important to be able to trust, we should be able to open our eyes and our minds to people and see the good where possible. Having trust is about having faith in other people that they are who they say they are. Having trust is about believing in the good and trying to remain at peace with the world.
Sometimes it doesn't work out, people can screw you over and leave you wounded. I don't deny that possibility because it has certainly happened to me and no doubt to all of you as well. The feeling of betrayal sucks, I am the first to admit it, but I think that building trust over time can solve that.
It is true that on the occasion you should jump into a relationship with two feet, but sometimes you just need to dip your toe in the water first, before jumping in full swing.
I think learning that trust can be a double edged sword can be both the smartest thing you realise and the worst thing to know at all.
Trust is confusing, it can make or break you. I think by writing this post I hoped to come to some conclusion as to how to deal with trust, but the truth is, I think every relationship is different. I think that some people are trust worthy and others aren't, so we shouldn't tar someone with the same brush.
I guess I wanted to end this with some sort of clarity, but instead I am going to end my post with and open ended thought.
Five Letters, Make it or Break it; You Choose.
-LF, LR and MG xx
Tuesday, 18 August 2015
Learning to Dance in the Rain
Inevitably at some point in life, we are thrown curveballs. The unexpected turn of events that happen before you have enough time to process it. Events that change the people that we think we are, the way we think about things but most importantly how we react to difficult events, sometimes into complete strangers.
As we get older, we begin to realise that the things we thought were important, that drama between you and your so called 'best friend'; that weird conversation with that 'maybe' boy, or the time you wore your hair a certain way for months only to discover that it was actually not cool at all. All of those things, whilst I have no doubt were important at the time, suddenly pale in comparison to the real 'drama' in your life. They are trivial when put up against the big decisions, the times when you really didn't know what was going to happen.
We like to believe that in those trivial moments, it really is between life or death, but I think if we all contemplate on our lives enough, we will at least find one time that trumps all other issues or problems. A time when we were scared and it was genuine. A time when we doubted ourselves, our friends and families whilst trying to grapple with the issue.
It is when those curveballs hit us, that we reach out and try to grab all the things that are most important to us, so that all the other insignificant things can slip away. It is when we look around and see who is here. Most importantly however, it is when we look at ourselves and begin to piece together the people that we really are.
That, I believe, is what 'learning to dance in the rain' is about. It is about grabbing onto the things that we have in the moments that we have nothing else, and making it work.
It is about looking around and knowing that whilst things may not even be close to ideal, that you are still alive, alert and awake, and that you have the ability to fix this. You have the ability to make something out of nothing and to truly find yourself when everything else seems lost.
It is in the darker times when the light you find shines the brightest. It is when you have almost lost all hope, when you see hope the most.
When you have the strength to look around you and make light out of the darkness, turn your sorrow into something worth living for, you know you are dancing in the rain.
When you stop walking around with your fists clenched up, preparing to fight with life for the mess it has thrown in your way, and instead walk around with your palms open, ready to receive whatever next should come your way, and build on what you have now, that you will dance in the rain, and no doubt whatever comes out from this rainy period, will be more beautiful and brilliant than anything you would have achieved before.
Sometimes in order to get to the place you want to be in, you have to take a more scenic route, rather than the one that seems to be carved out. But along that route, I can assure you, you will pick up more knowledge and strength, and it will be worth it in the end.
So learn to dance in the rain, let your rain boots fill up with water, as you learn more about yourself in those moments than you do at any other time. Take what life gives you and turn it into what you want it to be because life always has a funny way of working out in the end.
-LF, LR, and MG
xxx
As we get older, we begin to realise that the things we thought were important, that drama between you and your so called 'best friend'; that weird conversation with that 'maybe' boy, or the time you wore your hair a certain way for months only to discover that it was actually not cool at all. All of those things, whilst I have no doubt were important at the time, suddenly pale in comparison to the real 'drama' in your life. They are trivial when put up against the big decisions, the times when you really didn't know what was going to happen.
We like to believe that in those trivial moments, it really is between life or death, but I think if we all contemplate on our lives enough, we will at least find one time that trumps all other issues or problems. A time when we were scared and it was genuine. A time when we doubted ourselves, our friends and families whilst trying to grapple with the issue.
It is when those curveballs hit us, that we reach out and try to grab all the things that are most important to us, so that all the other insignificant things can slip away. It is when we look around and see who is here. Most importantly however, it is when we look at ourselves and begin to piece together the people that we really are.
That, I believe, is what 'learning to dance in the rain' is about. It is about grabbing onto the things that we have in the moments that we have nothing else, and making it work.
It is about looking around and knowing that whilst things may not even be close to ideal, that you are still alive, alert and awake, and that you have the ability to fix this. You have the ability to make something out of nothing and to truly find yourself when everything else seems lost.
It is in the darker times when the light you find shines the brightest. It is when you have almost lost all hope, when you see hope the most.
When you have the strength to look around you and make light out of the darkness, turn your sorrow into something worth living for, you know you are dancing in the rain.
When you stop walking around with your fists clenched up, preparing to fight with life for the mess it has thrown in your way, and instead walk around with your palms open, ready to receive whatever next should come your way, and build on what you have now, that you will dance in the rain, and no doubt whatever comes out from this rainy period, will be more beautiful and brilliant than anything you would have achieved before.
Sometimes in order to get to the place you want to be in, you have to take a more scenic route, rather than the one that seems to be carved out. But along that route, I can assure you, you will pick up more knowledge and strength, and it will be worth it in the end.
So learn to dance in the rain, let your rain boots fill up with water, as you learn more about yourself in those moments than you do at any other time. Take what life gives you and turn it into what you want it to be because life always has a funny way of working out in the end.
-LF, LR, and MG
xxx
Sunday, 14 June 2015
The Carousel That Never Stops Turning
"It's horrible being a grown up, the carousel never stops turning."
Whilst I may have borrowed this line from Greys Anatomy, it nevertheless serves to demonstrate my point in this post.
You see what Ellis Grey is exploring is that life never stops, it just goes on and on. No amount of tragedy or otherwise will slow down the pace or change how things happen. Although Ellis Grey may be a fictional character, she makes an excellent point, which is that life will always keep going on and on.
It isn't going to slow down when we need it to, we might resist life, we might attempt to take a time out every now and again, but essentially, it will keep on keeping on, because that's what it does.
At times, this can be something that we come to resent. We just need five minutes grace to gather our thoughts and work some things through, but even if it doesn't seem like a good thing, ultimately it is what keeps us going, even when we don't think we are capable of going ourselves.
The point being, that even when things feel like they are at rock bottom, and are never going to get any better, they are. The carousel never stops turning, and that means that at some point things will change, they will turn around for the millionth time and something new will appear.
For most people, the biggest battle comes when they need to move with life, not against it. So how can we teach ourselves to move with life and become more resistant?
Here are some pointers that have definitely helped me, when I feel like I need the world to slow down:
1) Find pleasure in the small things: Look out of your window, into the world and find pleasure in the sky and nature. Nature is so beautiful but we often feel that the pace of life is too fast to appreciate it. Every now and then glancing at nature and taking even just a few seconds to appreciate how beautiful the world we live in is, will help to keep your feet on the ground and make you remember that what we see on a minuscule scale, is so much bigger.
2) Sometimes its okay to go where life takes you: The reason why most of us feel so stressed all the time, is because we are so used to being able to control every tiny aspect of our lives. In reality, it would do us all good to throw up our hands and tell ourselves that whatever will be, will be. Whether we like it or not, for the most part this is how life turns out. There is a famous saying that "We make plans, and god laughs" and I think that this is so true. Obviously some things you have to plan, but when you think of it in terms of the carousel, eventually whatever will happen, will happen and so if we just go with the flow of life, it will relieve that pressure even for a small amount of time.
3) Find some calming exercises: As simple as this sounds, it works wonders. For just five minutes a day, find a quiet spot, sit down and just do some breathing exercises. Most people think this is a waste of time, but I'm telling you, that as you relieve the tension in your body, it will feel as if everything is slowing down, which will have a calming effect on you. If you do this once or twice a week, it will give you time to just think over things and make yourself slightly more stress free. Its worth it, I promise.
I know that the pace of life moves so fast that often we can't even look up at our big world and admire where we are and what we are doing, but sometimes when you feel like the carousel is just turning too fast, then this is what you need to do.
Just stop for a few seconds and realise that you have been put here for a reason, and smile to yourself, knowing that no matter how fast the carousel is going, you will always be able to make your mark on the world.
-LF, LR, MG
Whilst I may have borrowed this line from Greys Anatomy, it nevertheless serves to demonstrate my point in this post.
You see what Ellis Grey is exploring is that life never stops, it just goes on and on. No amount of tragedy or otherwise will slow down the pace or change how things happen. Although Ellis Grey may be a fictional character, she makes an excellent point, which is that life will always keep going on and on.
It isn't going to slow down when we need it to, we might resist life, we might attempt to take a time out every now and again, but essentially, it will keep on keeping on, because that's what it does.
At times, this can be something that we come to resent. We just need five minutes grace to gather our thoughts and work some things through, but even if it doesn't seem like a good thing, ultimately it is what keeps us going, even when we don't think we are capable of going ourselves.
The point being, that even when things feel like they are at rock bottom, and are never going to get any better, they are. The carousel never stops turning, and that means that at some point things will change, they will turn around for the millionth time and something new will appear.
For most people, the biggest battle comes when they need to move with life, not against it. So how can we teach ourselves to move with life and become more resistant?
Here are some pointers that have definitely helped me, when I feel like I need the world to slow down:
1) Find pleasure in the small things: Look out of your window, into the world and find pleasure in the sky and nature. Nature is so beautiful but we often feel that the pace of life is too fast to appreciate it. Every now and then glancing at nature and taking even just a few seconds to appreciate how beautiful the world we live in is, will help to keep your feet on the ground and make you remember that what we see on a minuscule scale, is so much bigger.
2) Sometimes its okay to go where life takes you: The reason why most of us feel so stressed all the time, is because we are so used to being able to control every tiny aspect of our lives. In reality, it would do us all good to throw up our hands and tell ourselves that whatever will be, will be. Whether we like it or not, for the most part this is how life turns out. There is a famous saying that "We make plans, and god laughs" and I think that this is so true. Obviously some things you have to plan, but when you think of it in terms of the carousel, eventually whatever will happen, will happen and so if we just go with the flow of life, it will relieve that pressure even for a small amount of time.
3) Find some calming exercises: As simple as this sounds, it works wonders. For just five minutes a day, find a quiet spot, sit down and just do some breathing exercises. Most people think this is a waste of time, but I'm telling you, that as you relieve the tension in your body, it will feel as if everything is slowing down, which will have a calming effect on you. If you do this once or twice a week, it will give you time to just think over things and make yourself slightly more stress free. Its worth it, I promise.
I know that the pace of life moves so fast that often we can't even look up at our big world and admire where we are and what we are doing, but sometimes when you feel like the carousel is just turning too fast, then this is what you need to do.
Just stop for a few seconds and realise that you have been put here for a reason, and smile to yourself, knowing that no matter how fast the carousel is going, you will always be able to make your mark on the world.
-LF, LR, MG
Tuesday, 5 May 2015
Surviving the Holidays
As study leave looms over us, and we can practically smell summer, most people are thinking about the long days they will spend in bed, followed by the long nights they will spend out, being carefree.
However, for some of you out there, the summer fills you with a sense of dread. For you, summer means six long weeks filled up whatever it is that school takes you away from.
Whether you go to school to escape your families or to see your friends or just because its a safe space, even if you wouldn't admit it out loud, the fact is, six weeks away from school, makes you want to cry.
Sometimes the weekends are long enough, so with that in mind, I'm going to give you some tips of how to survive the long summer months, because its okay not to want to go home!
1) Try and start planning something now. If you have the sort of parents that don't like you to make plans where you are out all day and all night, then make as many plans as you can, without aggravating them. The last thing you want is for them to ban you from going out. Try work within your boundaries to ensure that you live with the least amount of tension possible.
2) Work out your support network. Whether it be a few friends who know how much you don't want to be at home, or a teacher that you can email during the holidays. Try have both, but whatever you have works fine. Promise them that you will update them on whats going on. Don't leave yourself uncontactable for six weeks. You will feel lonely, you will feel isolated and if something happens and you need to get out- this will be the first person you can contact. I can't stress this enough: Don't leave yourself with no one. A helpful tip, once you work out who you are going to trust, speak to them so they know you might need them. They won't mind. Also, be aware that they might be going away, so check when they are here, so if you need them but they aren't around, you don't panic.
3) Get a job. Even if you don't need the money, which lets be honest, isn't that probable, because everyone needs money! It will buy you time out the house, whilst giving you a purpose, and letting your parents think that you are doing something with your life. All things that will help you get through the summer.
4) Find a hobby that keeps you busy. Take up a sport, or an art, or to be honest, anything that will keep you busy. Find something that will take you a few hours a day, or a few hours a week, preferably something you enjoy, or something you think you will grow to love.
5) Find a safe chat room to talk if you need. Go onto childline.com or 7cupsoftea and vent or ask for advice if you don't think you can do it, or you just need a space to yell.
6) Most importantly, stay safe and stay heard. Keep in contact with someone every day. When it gets too much, say so and go out, or spend the night at a friend. Don't do anything wreck less, but if you need to get out, then go. Your mental and physical health comes first, so please don't forget that. Don't forget to eat and sleep.
Don't forget that you are a beautiful person and no matter what you are inevitably going to have to face over the summer, that you are going to be okay. You will survive it, because you always have done, and when you get back to school after the summer or study leave, or even the weekend, you made it.
I believe in you, I really do.
Please if you need anything feel free to comment. You are reading this post from someone who is speaking from experience, so I am here for all of you.
-LF, LR and MG
However, for some of you out there, the summer fills you with a sense of dread. For you, summer means six long weeks filled up whatever it is that school takes you away from.
Whether you go to school to escape your families or to see your friends or just because its a safe space, even if you wouldn't admit it out loud, the fact is, six weeks away from school, makes you want to cry.
Sometimes the weekends are long enough, so with that in mind, I'm going to give you some tips of how to survive the long summer months, because its okay not to want to go home!
1) Try and start planning something now. If you have the sort of parents that don't like you to make plans where you are out all day and all night, then make as many plans as you can, without aggravating them. The last thing you want is for them to ban you from going out. Try work within your boundaries to ensure that you live with the least amount of tension possible.
2) Work out your support network. Whether it be a few friends who know how much you don't want to be at home, or a teacher that you can email during the holidays. Try have both, but whatever you have works fine. Promise them that you will update them on whats going on. Don't leave yourself uncontactable for six weeks. You will feel lonely, you will feel isolated and if something happens and you need to get out- this will be the first person you can contact. I can't stress this enough: Don't leave yourself with no one. A helpful tip, once you work out who you are going to trust, speak to them so they know you might need them. They won't mind. Also, be aware that they might be going away, so check when they are here, so if you need them but they aren't around, you don't panic.
3) Get a job. Even if you don't need the money, which lets be honest, isn't that probable, because everyone needs money! It will buy you time out the house, whilst giving you a purpose, and letting your parents think that you are doing something with your life. All things that will help you get through the summer.
4) Find a hobby that keeps you busy. Take up a sport, or an art, or to be honest, anything that will keep you busy. Find something that will take you a few hours a day, or a few hours a week, preferably something you enjoy, or something you think you will grow to love.
5) Find a safe chat room to talk if you need. Go onto childline.com or 7cupsoftea and vent or ask for advice if you don't think you can do it, or you just need a space to yell.
6) Most importantly, stay safe and stay heard. Keep in contact with someone every day. When it gets too much, say so and go out, or spend the night at a friend. Don't do anything wreck less, but if you need to get out, then go. Your mental and physical health comes first, so please don't forget that. Don't forget to eat and sleep.
Don't forget that you are a beautiful person and no matter what you are inevitably going to have to face over the summer, that you are going to be okay. You will survive it, because you always have done, and when you get back to school after the summer or study leave, or even the weekend, you made it.
I believe in you, I really do.
Please if you need anything feel free to comment. You are reading this post from someone who is speaking from experience, so I am here for all of you.
-LF, LR and MG
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