How to be a Whistle Blower

I would say that most people like to believe that they have morals and principles that they stick to, and would stand up for no matter what. However, when it actually comes down to it, how often do we actually speak out and speak now when we see something that we want to change, or that doesn't sit right with us?

We live in a world where people have become so concerned about what others think of them, that they forget about what is right and what is wrong because as long as we all fit in, then it won't cause us any discomfort. 

Truth be told, how many times have you witnessed something and wished you would have reported it, but didn't. Then later that day or week, you stew over what you heard or saw and want to kick yourself for not doing anything about it?! This happens to the most of us, so this is a post on how to be a whistle blower. 

What is a whistle blower?

A whistle blower is someone who informs on someone or something that is engaging in unlawful or immoral activity. 

It sounds like a tell-tale, the annoying sibling that always rats you out for taking the last biscuit... But actually, if we untangle ourselves from the mess of stigmatisms and stereo-types surrounded by the idea of a whistle blower, what you actually see is someone standing up for what they believe in. 

Sometimes you need to remember your humanity, your morals and your principles and disregard what others might think or say, because you never know who you could be helping by doing so.

Its hard, there is no denying that. Often the people involved, know that they are doing wrong but can't seem to admit it to themselves, so carry on regardless and criticise or try to bully you into shrinking back. But don't shrink back, you are doing the right thing by reporting or putting a stop to this behaviour or activity. 

You should not be ashamed, you should not back down, you are doing the right thing. You have to keep telling yourself that, and remind yourself that no matter how tough it gets to support your actions, that you are being a whistle blower, and it takes courage to do so. 

'It takes courage to grow up and be who you really are' admittedly, this probably wasn't written to demonstrate this point, but it is still relevant. It takes courage to actualise your morals and be a whistle blower. 

Keep being amazing, and speak out and speak now, because you never know the positive effects you are having by blowing the whistle. 

-LF, LR and MG

Finding Your Happiness

“The grass might not always be greener on the other side, but the sun definitely shines brighter when you’re happy.”

If I’m being honest, I don’t think I really understood the gravity of what this means until the last few weeks.

When you’re in a situation, it is so easy to just get bogged down in it. It is so easy to let yourself be consumed by the struggle, by the stress and the anger and the sadness of whatever you’re going through. Most of the time we don’t even realise we are doing it until we stop. Day after day, it’s all you can think about, its all you eat, sleep and breath.

The worst part about it, is that its not even like you realise. Its not even like you know that you’re doing it. And without realising you are becoming your problems. They’ve swallowed you whole, and now you can’t separate between what your situation is and who you are. It’s such a horrible feeling. Going around all the time with this massive weight bearing on your shoulders, not knowing what to do. Sinking into the sand, not by choice, but because essentially you just don’t know how to save yourself.

But here is something that I have learnt. You don’t need to fix your problems. Most of the time you can’t fix your problems, which is why they weigh down on you so much. All you have to do is smile.

That’s literally it. It sounds simple, but unlike most of everything else I say, it actually is simple. It is genuinely the most effective thing I have ever done in my life. One day, you just have to wake up.

Metaphorically, I mean. You have to wake up, and you have to tell yourself that from now on, you are going to be happy. From now on, you are going to stop wishing and waiting about the person you would someday like to become, and you are going to be that person.

No more waiting to be happy. No more waiting for a time where your problems and pain are no longer there. Because chances are, you’ll be waiting your whole life.

Start now. I promise you, you’ll have never felt so free. It is a beautiful feeling. It is a feeling that is like no other, when your smile meets you eyes, and you laugh and people tell you that you look happy. And you don’t just say thank you, and plaster on a fake smile. You laugh and agree with them, because you actually feel happy. You can feel that warmth that you have longed to feel since you can remember.

You mouth aches from laughing and your cheeks are stiff because wherever you can, you smile.

You smile because there is a part of you that has let go. There is a part of you that understands now that the only way to be happy, is to make your own happiness.

Because no one is going to make happiness for you, apart from yourself. And then, something weird happens. Suddenly, you see happiness in the blue sky, you see happiness in the rain and in the clouds. You see happiness in children, and in flowers. You see happiness in the way you skip along the road and laugh with your friends.

You hear happiness in music as you sing along to the beat.

And you know what? There are still times when you are sad. There are still times when you are stressed, sad and angry.

But somehow the fact that you are also happy, and can free yourself from your problems and the rest of your life, is the best gift anyone ever got you, and the best part of that, is that it’s a gift you gave yourself.

As humans, we have a very special power. We have a power that enables us to feel. Don’t forget that. Don’t forget to feel the sunshine on your face, or the flowers in your hair. Don’t wait so long that you can’t remember what it feels like to be happy, or what is feels like to truly laugh.

It isn’t going to rid you of all pain, it isn’t going to solve the things you have been trying to solve. But it is going to brighten up that darkness.

And most of the time, all we need is a little bit of light to show us the way.

-LF, LR and MG

How to Stay Strong

Hope is a funny thing. You keep telling yourself that it will get better, but deep down, in the pit of your stomach, where all your anxieties live, you can't help but remind yourself that although at some point it may get better, it still hasn't yet.

Here is the thing, even in your darkest moment, on your darkest days, you have to remember that you can do it. You have to remember that you are as strong as you need to be and that no matter what life throws at you, you are capable.

Because in the end, everyone has pain, its whether or not you chose to suffer with it: that is key.

You have to take a deep breath, and remember that whatever is going on now, isn't permanent, and that there is going to be a time where this time in your life when you spent days and weeks not being able to look past it, fades into the past.

There is going to be a time, where you are living your life the way that you want to, with everything behind you.

Hold on to that thought, and don't let go. No matter what happens, if you have that thought of 'its going to be okay' then it will be okay.

A lot of the time, we believe that things happen to us are going to break us, not build us. But you have to hold on to the fact that the darkest times come just before dawn, and that if you can just wait it out until the morning, and keep on fighting, then it is going to be worth it.

I promise you, that no matter how hard it gets, no matter how many times you break down and you tell yourself that you can't do it anymore, you can do it.

You are so much stronger than you think. Never ever forget that.

It is always ok to feel like you just can't do it anymore, it is always ok to feel that nothing is ever going to get fixed, as long as you remember that it will. As long as you remember that it is worth the fight, it is worth the tears. Because at some point, it will come right.

What will be, will be. But as long as you know you have done everything you could to help yourself, then whatever happens will happen for the good.

I can't tell you that whats going on in your life is as a result of anything, but I can tell you that it is going to build you into the most incredible person. And that when you smile, it isn't the smile of a broken person, it is the smile of a warrior.

The smile of a person, who has built their self on strength, on bravery and on kindness. On the basis that one day, one day they are going to get there. One day they are going to look back and smile, and say that they did it.

And if you never forget any of that, then you will stay strong. You will stay strong until the very end, and I believe in you.

Please remember to speak out and speak now, if you are having a hard time staying strong.

-LF, LR and MG

Insecurities

We all have them. Those tiny aspects of your face, body or personality that stick out to you like a sore thumb. They play on your mind and cause you to think endless things, such as how you can best hide your bingo wings or whether your foundation has enough coverage to conceal the atrocity that you call your acne-ridden forehead. You feel almost paranoid as soon as anyone looks in the direction of your 'thunder thighs' or your gigantic nose.

These are your insecurities. 

They are a huge deal in your life.

But they are not a huge deal in anyone else's.

Nobody is going to look at you and think "oh dear that person's face is utterly horrendous because they have freckly cheeks, that means that they are an awful human being and should be thrown of the face of the earth".

Nobody is going to glare at you from a mile away because you have bigger or smaller feet than they do.

Nobody else will notice these things.

They are interested in you. As a person, not as an object. They will look at you and wonder how you manage to retain such an incredible personality with your beautiful smile and adorable laugh. They will wish that they could be your friend because they know how much you genuinely care about each individual person that feature in your life. In fact, they would probably be stood there, worrying to death about you noticing the couple of miniature but stubborn strands of hair that are out of place on their own eyebrows.

This is the one thing that every person always forgets. They are your insecurities because nobody else cares. 

All you need to be concerned about is carrying on being that brilliant person that you are. The high-achieving, optimistic, bubbly, kind, helpful bundle of joy that you always were and always will be.

That is all.

-LF, LR and MG

The Truth about Feminism

A teacher asks their class who would define themselves as a feminists. No hands went up. The teacher then asked who believed in equality, and every single student put their hand up. She then asked them what the difference was between the two questions. No response was given.

When speaking to friends, their general impression of a feminist is a girl who fights for women by not shaving their body hair and shoving their opinions down people's throats to get their points across. They feel that women have equality already, so they do not have any understanding as to why they are shouting about nothing.

They are wrong.
 A feminist is a person (yes, a person - male or female) who believes in gender equality.

There are many different types of feminists in the world, four of which are learned about in Sociology A-Level.

Radical feminist: This is the one that many people associate with feminism in general. They feel that we are living in a patriarchal society; men are oppressing, subordinating and exploiting women in order to assert their power. They see men as the enemy and believe in 'political lesbianism'.

Marxist feminist: Fewer people are aware of this one. They feel that men are not the ones oppressing women, but it is the Capitalist society of today. They wish that one day, there will be a classless society, which will achieve their goal of equality among everyone.

Liberal feminist: These feminists merely want equality. They can see that both men and women suffer from inequalities and want to fight for what is right, for example narrowing the pay gap.

Difference feminist: They see every single woman as unique and important, and that we cannot generalise anything because women everywhere have different experiences with men.

Now we can see that feminism isn't all constant debates and longer armpit hair.

As mentioned before, there is a significant pay gap between genders. The difference between the amount of money that men earn at work and the amount that women earn was at its lowest in 2010 compared to any other year at 34.5%.

Also, topically, there is a petition on 'nomorepage3.org' with over 217,000 signatures in order to try and abolish The Sun's page three (which, if you didn't know, is pretty much a page of women with their breasts on show). This is a very split argument: some feminists see this petition as 'slut shaming' and believe that there is no shame with people choosing to present themselves in the media this way. However, others see it as exploitation and conveying a message of how women are defined by their bodies.

From my point of view, whilst feminism is a rising movement, people are rebelling and become 'anti-feminists' because they do not truly understand the meaning of the word. There needs to be some way of spreading the truth of what it means to be a feminist, sharing facts about why feminism is becoming bigger and why equality has not been obtained yet.

The way to do this is by speaking out, and speaking now. If one person expresses this to three people, then these three people do the exact same, the message will be far more known. Words spread faster than anything. Go and stand up for what you believe in.

-LF, LR and MG

Understanding PTSD

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a mental health condition that's triggered by a terrifying event - either experiencing it, or witnessing it. It can be characterised by symptoms such as flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event.

Although at the start of research into PTSD, it was found only in soldiers returning from war, there is a common misconception that this illness only effects soldiers, and this is not true.

Many people living with PTSD, often don't realise it for many months and sometimes years. It is a mentally debilitating illness, that often results in a deterioration of other aspects of your health, such as insomnia, crippling anxiety and strain on your internal organs.

Often, one develops PTSD after a traumatic experience, this can be anything from returning from war, witnessing or being in an accident, experiencing abuse (physical, verbal, sexual, domestic or emotional), witnessing continual abuse, rape, illness, being physically hurt. These events can occur in childhood anywhere up until and during the age you are now.

A lot of people chose to ignore initial PTSD symptoms, by putting them down to nightmares or a bit of anxiety about things that they do not believe to be connected.

1 in 10 women and 1 in 20 men develop PTSD at some point in their life.
This is a huge number and as is the case with a lot of mental illnesses, the less we talk about them, the less we know and then the less we can help.

If you yourself has dealt with something particularly traumatic, or have a family member or close friend who has, please pay extra attention to how they are coping with their situation. It is very easy to pass of someones 'jumpiness' or 'shakiness' with just being a jumpy person. But this is a symptom for PTSD. Someone who is particularly paranoid about something, or appears to be fixated and unable to move past a certain event, needs help. Whether they realise it or not, they are suffering with something that can be helped.

PTSD can be treated, without medication, through various forms of therapy including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, which will give the sufferer techniques to help them through this difficult time.

Reliving a traumatic event is emotionally and physically exhausting for the person, and can leave them on edge, tearful and what appears to be extremely distressed by an event. It is important to note that these episodes can be brought on by something that reminds the person of a behaviour that have experienced in the past.

If you are suffering from this illness, please speak now and speak out. It is hard, it is terrifying, but the first step to recovery, is speaking about it. You never know how much you could be helping yourself until you do. You are probably scared, frightened and confused. But please know, that we are here for you.

We are here for you every step of the way, so feel free to share your journey and get on that path to recovery!

-LF, LR and MG

Depression: From the External Perspective

Depression is defined as a mental illness which is characterized by sadness, loss of interest or pleasure, feelings of guilt or low self-worth, disturbed sleep or appetite, feelings of tiredness and poor concentration. On average, 1 in 6 people – 1 in 5 women and 1 in 8 men – will experience depression at some stage of their lives. 

There are so many blog posts and articles regarding life as a sufferer of depression and what that entails, however there are less on how observers of sufferers can help as much as they can with this mental illness.

There is a list of myths regarding depression that 100% need clearing up.

1) Depression can be used as a synonym for 'sadness'

This is entirely false. Yes, people with depression can suffer from sadness, but this is not the main symptom of the disorder. Depression is mostly linked with the feeling of apathy and emptiness, with an accompanying feeling of tension if coupled with anxiety. 

2) Depression is always situational

Depression can definitely have situational triggers, though the mental illness is generally diagnosed when an individual suffers from prolonged episodes of emptiness, no motivation and hopelessness for no apparent reason or cause.  A person with depression can appear happy to the naked eye, which extends the reason that depression can never be used as a synonym for sadness.

3) Depression symptoms are all in your head

Just because it is a mental illness, does not mean everything is kept internally. Common depression symptoms include indigestion, difficulty breathing, tightness in the chest, and general fatigue. 

4) Once you are diagnosed with depression, you are stuck with antidepressants for the rest of your life

Whilst antidepressants such as SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) are proven to have high success rates, this does not mean you cannot be weaned off them. It also does not mean that this is the only method of suppressing symptoms - there are other ways, such as CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) or Psychoanalysis. Both of these techniques also have high success rates. A sufferer of depression can also be weaned off these.

Now that these myths have been cleared up, there are a few small steps that you can follow if you want to help a friend or family member with depression. This will not by any means help to cure it, but it could make the sufferer feel more comfortable in your company.

Be there for them. Acknowledge when they are feeling down and ensure that they can feel comfortable opening up and expressing their feelings. Keep positive and comforting, and ask what you can do in order to help them. Often a close friend or relative recognises the symptoms before the sufferer themselves. The sufferer sometimes isn't able to see what they should be seeing. In this case, please bare with the sufferer and never lose patience with them. What people don't realise is that the sufferer will not feel that there is anything wrong until it is too late.

Be aware of timings. Choose a decent time to talk, for example when both of you are relaxed. If they are feeling upset, they may feel uncomfortable talking about sensitive issues and may not want to speak to you about them another time.

Be accepting. Make it clear that you are there and love them unconditionally.

Be informed. It will do you no good if your friend opens up to you and you have not got the faintest idea of what they are talking about. The NHS website and depressionuk both contain a generous amount of information, which is so useful and there for this purpose.

Be encouraging. It is crucial that the sufferer opens up to a knowing adult, such as a parent, teacher or even a doctor, though this is an extremely tough step. If they are not ready, that is okay. Use the dripping tap effect, whereby you gradually assist them in gaining the courage to speak to somebody. Never make them feel pressured into doing anything that they do not want to do.

I hope this advice is helpful, remember to speak up and speak now!

Thank you so much for reading,

-LF, LR and MG