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Monday, 11 May 2015

Expectation vs Reality

We all do it. Spending hours wondering what our lives could be like if you'd said that, done that, looked like that. What we would be like if we were skinnier, prettier, smarter, nicer, happier, richer, or anything other than what we are.

We like to question our choices, bisect ourselves until there is nothing left, and the craziest thing is, that we never get to the root of our actions anyway.

When once asking a teacher if she had any regrets, she told me something that has stuck with me since. She told me:
"I don't believe in regrets. I don't believe in regrets because in that moment you thought you were doing the right thing, and you should never regret doing the right thing." 
I think that a toxic part of our personalities is that we focus too much on what we should have said and done. On what we should be like, and we reprimand ourselves on the fact that we are different to how we imagined we would be.

When really, how often is it that we end up in the place we thought we would. People always say that the best adventures are the ones that are unplanned. So surely, if life is the best adventure, wouldn't it be better to leave it unplanned.

We need to stop having expectations of what we should be like, what we should look like and what we should be doing because it just damages the person we are right now.

Don't get me wrong- reach for the stars. Having goals and working towards them is very important. But don't get so sidetracked working on who you should be, that you forget to enjoy who you are now.

You might not have reached up to your expectations, because often the people we hold ransom to unrealistic expectations, is ourselves. We beat ourselves down for not getting the best grades, for not being the best at something or the prettiest or the skinniest or the most outgoing. When in reality, we need to appreciate ourselves for who we are.

I don't mean 'no regrets' like in the 'yolo' sense. I mean no regrets, because you are living your life on one path, when by now you have probably made a few choices that means that you could have been living your life on a totally different one.

I mean, don't regret who you are. Don't regret how far you've come. Even though for most of you, the person you are now, is nothing like the person you thought you might become, that doesn't mean you should regret that.

As I said, the best adventures in life are unplanned, and if life is the best adventure, then you're doing it great.

Just something to think about over this stressful period!

-LF, LR, and MG

Sunday, 10 May 2015

An Explanation For Our (Short-Term) Absence

Hello there!

I thought that rather than leaving you in the dark, it would be best for us to explain why our blog posts will be irregular and disjointed for a short while.

As we can see, not all of the views that we receive are sourced in the United Kingdom, which is where we are from. This may mean that you don't know how the British education system runs. All three of us are 17 years old, meaning we are in the stage of the school process called 'sixth form'. This is a two-year period in which we study 3-5 subjects in a lot of depth and do exams during the months of May and June of both years. These grades will assist us in applying to university or elsewhere (although the three of us are extremely keen on going to university).

Our exams begin on Monday the 11th of May and end around the 12th of June, meaning we are pretty much studying for hours on end, not leaving the house, barely even speaking to each other!

So this explains why our blog may be lacking in posts for the next couple of weeks - we care so much about our exams and truly want to do the best that we can. We may end up posting at some point as a way of escaping the stress of this period, though it is unlikely that I personally will be.

If anyone is interested, these are the subjects that all three of us are studying:

LR - English Literature, Psychology, History and Politics
LF - English Literature, Drama and Theatre Studies, Psychology and Sociology
MG - Maths, Further Maths, Chemistry, Physics and History

Moreover, these subject choices may explain further information.

'MG' is clearly taking far more mathematical and scientific subjects, aside from one. She believes that she "cannot write" (her words, not mine), therefore she provides the facts and statistics and always reviews our posts before we place them online. In the future, expect more from her!

Thank you so much for reading this and supporting us, we truly appreciate it.

Best of luck if you also have exams coming up,

- LF, LR and MG

Tuesday, 5 May 2015

Surviving the Holidays

As study leave looms over us, and we can practically smell summer, most people are thinking about the long days they will spend in bed, followed by the long nights they will spend out, being carefree.

However, for some of you out there, the summer fills you with a sense of dread. For you, summer means six long weeks filled up whatever it is that school takes you away from.

Whether you go to school to escape your families or to see your friends or just because its a safe space, even if you wouldn't admit it out loud, the fact is, six weeks away from school, makes you want to cry.

Sometimes the weekends are long enough, so with that in mind, I'm going to give you some tips of how to survive the long summer months, because its okay not to want to go home!

1) Try and start planning something now. If you have the sort of parents that don't like you to make plans where you are out all day and all night, then make as many plans as you can, without aggravating them. The last thing you want is for them to ban you from going out. Try work within your boundaries to ensure that you live with the least amount of tension possible.

2) Work out your support network. Whether it be a few friends who know how much you don't want to be at home, or a teacher that you can email during the holidays. Try have both, but whatever you have works fine. Promise them that you will update them on whats going on. Don't leave yourself uncontactable for six weeks. You will feel lonely, you will feel isolated and if something happens and you need to get out- this will be the first person you can contact. I can't stress this enough: Don't leave yourself with no one. A helpful tip, once you work out who you are going to trust, speak to them so they know you might need them. They won't mind. Also, be aware that they might be going away, so check when they are here, so if you need them but they aren't around, you don't panic.

3) Get a job. Even if you don't need the money, which lets be honest, isn't that probable, because everyone needs money! It will buy you time out the house, whilst giving you a purpose, and letting your parents think that you are doing something with your life. All things that will help you get through the summer.

4) Find a hobby that keeps you busy. Take up a sport, or an art, or to be honest, anything that will keep you busy. Find something that will take you a few hours a day, or a few hours a week, preferably something you enjoy, or something you think you will grow to love.

5) Find a safe chat room to talk if you need. Go onto or 7cupsoftea and vent or ask for advice if you don't think you can do it, or you just need a space to yell.

6) Most importantly, stay safe and stay heard. Keep in contact with someone every day. When it gets too much, say so and go out, or spend the night at a friend. Don't do anything wreck less, but if you need to get out, then go. Your mental and physical health comes first, so please don't forget that. Don't forget to eat and sleep.

Don't forget that you are a beautiful person and no matter what you are inevitably going to have to face over the summer, that you are going to be okay. You will survive it, because you always have done, and when you get back to school after the summer or study leave, or even the weekend, you made it.

I believe in you, I really do.

Please if you need anything feel free to comment. You are reading this post from someone who is speaking from experience, so I am here for all of you.

-LF, LR and MG