Throwaway Terms

"Oh my god I'm literally having a panic attack"
"I'm feeling so depressed right now"
"Don't mind me, just having a stroke"
"That's so gay"

All of these are sentences that I hear pretty much on a day-to-day basis. And I was probably guilty of even using some of these back in the early days of secondary school. They are what I like to think of as "throwaway terms" - using words that have heavy meanings in a lighter way to get a point across, such as "I'm quite nervous" or "I'm a bit sad about this". These hyperbolic ways of expressing emotions may gain a bit of sympathy or maybe a few laughs.

However, the main point that I would like to get across to you here is that words are powerful. 

To you, these may be silly little sentences that you use in order to exaggerate an emotion. To others, this may be there life. 
Depression is a real thing, as spoken in posts here (depression from the external perspective) and here (suicide).
A panic attack is the defence mechanism that your body uses when in fight-or-flight mode, which tells the body that it is legitimately about to die. People suffering from anxiety or panic disorders may experience these on a daily basis.
A stroke is defined as "a sudden disabling attack or loss of consciousness caused by an interruption in the flow of blood to the brain, especially through thrombosis".
Gay is not an insult. It is merely a sexual preference of the same gender as oneself.

It is important that in situations in which you wish to express an emotion, that you do so in a sensible, accurate, non-hyperbolic manner. Obviously this isn't possible all the time, as a drama student I can tell you that I am very prone to exaggeration! But if you are even slightly tempted to use a word that has a heavy meaning in a lighter context, maybe think again.

Thank you for reading, and good luck to everyone getting results!
-LF, LR and MG
xxx

Sticks and Stones

There is a famous saying, that most of us learn in primary school, which goes:

"Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

Although this may be a slightly round about way to come to this conclusion, when studying the poem 'Dulce et Decorum Est' by Wilfred Owen, I admired the way in which he took the saying 'Dulce et decorum est' and subverted it, to play on the words in a way that effectively made the opposite point. So, with that in mind, I would like to do a similar thing, in this post.

When looking at the first part of the phrase "sticks and stones will break my bones," it reminds us of the animalistic start that we as humans have had. We are thrown back to a time, when warfare in the playground meant rough and tumble, petty scrawls that were over in the blink of an eye. This can even be said to be true now, where fights are generally over in the matter of a few punches, it is perhaps the momentum of the fight that is carried forward, less so the physical brawl itself.

However, what I would like to focus on, in this article, is the second part of this saying, that goes "but words will never hurt me." Whilst I appreciate that at the time this was said, we were living in more tame and simple times, I would now like to work to change this saying, to something more generation appropriate.

Essentially, if you believe this saying, then you are, even without realising it, advocating the idea that words are harmless. This is an approach, that I now deem here to be incorrect. In a society particularly like today's I can see all around me the power that words have. It astonishes me the power that a combination of twenty-six letters can have on anyone. By minimising the effects that words can have, it does something more potent- it minimises the effects that people feel. It makes people feel as if they don't have a right to feel hurt or crushed by the poisonous words of someone else.

Whilst I can see that words will never have the effect of physically bruising someone. You will never walk away from a conversation with stab wounds next to your heart. I can however assure you, that anyone reading this who has been the victim of someone else's nasty words, will know that they would rather a punch in the face any day.

I think that most of the time, we are so oblivious to the effect our words are having, and whilst most of us strive to only use our words for the good, through the form of compliments, or biting our tongues when it is not appropriate to speak (see a previous post). Most people are more relaxed when it comes to thinking through the consequences of saying something that could bruising someone inside.

As a generation in a society where we are used to seeing the immediate effects of something, we often neglect to realise that whilst the results of words may not be seen in the here and now, that does not mean that your words aren't having an effect.

That is why, I would like to propose an amended phrase that would be a more helpful reminder to everyone:

"Sticks and stones will break my bones, just as words will also hurt me"

Using this quote, I hope to remind people that just as we will always see the results of a fist fight, wherever we may be, we will not always see the results of vicious words, but that doesn't mean that they won't be just as deadly.

-LF, LR and MG

How to Bite Your Tongue

Sometimes, you come across some genuinely lovely people. They comfort you when you're down and never cease to put a smile across your face. They are warm, welcoming and just downright great people.

Sometimes, you meet people who are the exact opposite. Every little thing that they do grates on you and some things seem as if they are doing it with you in mind, purely because they know you wouldn't like it. You will never get used to their ignorance and attention-seeking behaviour, which contrasts so greatly to your own nature.

It seems impossible to stop yourself from speaking your mind and telling this person how you truly feel. Though there are some things to bare in mind...

1) Words are powerful

It is easy to forget that words hold so much power and meaning which can cause people to have their feelings hurt, and you never know the kinds of effects that words may have on them.

2) Everyone has something going on

After all, these people are human too. They may be acting horrible because there is so much going on with them at home that they need to take it out on the nearest person, which just so happened to be you.

3) It is okay to talk to other people

Rather than taking your anger out on this person or other people, it is okay to seek expert advice. If they are genuinely out to get you, I urge you to speak to a parent or teacher to see what they say. After all, they have enough experience to share some brilliant advice with you.

That is all I have to remember when it comes to situations like these. If you have any extra advice or have specific situations that you want to share, I urge you to leave a comment and we can do our best to help. It may be useful due to the anonymity of this blog.

Remember, we are here to help.

- LF, LR and MG

xxx