Why can't I dream big?

From a young age, I was the type of child to think about what I wanted to be when I grew up. At first it was a vet, like most children I suspect, as I had a love for animals and all creatures of the earth. But soon, I grew out of that dream, and moved on to another one. My mum did a psychology degree, so my next dream was to be a psychologist. And when I had exhausted that idea, I decided I wanted to be a lawyer. I settled on being a lawyer and for the next year or so, thought about all the things I would do once I had my degree. When people asked me what type of lawyer I wanted to be, and I didn't know, they told me to go into corporate law, because that is where the money is. So that summer, I did a week of work experience in a corporate law firm, and was extremely bored. At 16 I decided law wasn't for me, and began to search for something else to reach for.

Luckily for me, only a few months later, I began to fall in love with writing, and discovered that I'd rather do something that I love every day for the rest of my life, than something that was big and corporate but made a lot of money. Writing makes me feel fulfilled, it makes me feel happy and it also makes me feel like I'm making a difference. 

So when people asked me what I want to do when I'm older, I responded happily and confidently that I want to be a published author. This was when I began to notice that the response to my career aspirations were usually met with raised eyebrows, condescending concern and some sort of ill thought out advice. The most common response I get is something like "Well I hope you'll be the next J K Rowling because otherwise you won't be very successful." I love J K Rowling and I am very much part of the Harry Potter Fandom, so my point next should not be taken as a criticism of her unbelievable talent and hard work. 

But it is comments like this that make me believe that as a society our definition of success has changed so significantly. Rather than measure success in how much of an impact one makes in the world, we measure success in how much money a person makes. Now, I'm not naive enough to believe that money doesn't play a role in our lives, but I do genuinely believe that we should not let money be the indicator for how successful we are. 

When I tell people I want to be a published author, the follow up question is usually about what I want to publish. When I respond by saying that I want to write things that change the world, people have lost me all together. But why can't I dream big? Why can't I write something that changes the world, and publish things that change the way we think. Why can't I use my skill to do something good instead of just thinking about how much I am going to earn? Because when I talk about writing, I mean writing to educate. Writing to educate people around me about things that go on that aren't spoken about enough. Writing to bring awareness and writing to change the way we think so that we are more tolerant and accepting and happy with who we are. 

So the answer is that I can dream big. I can change the world with my writing, even if it's just my world. I don't have to be motivated by money, and nor do you, if you don't want to. It's going to be a darn sight harder to make it big in this world, but then again is that what really matters? 

Maybe I will be the next J K Rowling, but on the very large chance that I'm not, all I want to know is that I can still dream big and change the world with my writing, regardless of the number in my bank account. 

LF, LR and MG xx

Throwaway Terms

"Oh my god I'm literally having a panic attack"
"I'm feeling so depressed right now"
"Don't mind me, just having a stroke"
"That's so gay"

All of these are sentences that I hear pretty much on a day-to-day basis. And I was probably guilty of even using some of these back in the early days of secondary school. They are what I like to think of as "throwaway terms" - using words that have heavy meanings in a lighter way to get a point across, such as "I'm quite nervous" or "I'm a bit sad about this". These hyperbolic ways of expressing emotions may gain a bit of sympathy or maybe a few laughs.

However, the main point that I would like to get across to you here is that words are powerful. 

To you, these may be silly little sentences that you use in order to exaggerate an emotion. To others, this may be there life. 
Depression is a real thing, as spoken in posts here (depression from the external perspective) and here (suicide).
A panic attack is the defence mechanism that your body uses when in fight-or-flight mode, which tells the body that it is legitimately about to die. People suffering from anxiety or panic disorders may experience these on a daily basis.
A stroke is defined as "a sudden disabling attack or loss of consciousness caused by an interruption in the flow of blood to the brain, especially through thrombosis".
Gay is not an insult. It is merely a sexual preference of the same gender as oneself.

It is important that in situations in which you wish to express an emotion, that you do so in a sensible, accurate, non-hyperbolic manner. Obviously this isn't possible all the time, as a drama student I can tell you that I am very prone to exaggeration! But if you are even slightly tempted to use a word that has a heavy meaning in a lighter context, maybe think again.

Thank you for reading, and good luck to everyone getting results!
-LF, LR and MG
xxx

Saving Yourself

Everyone wants to be a superhero. We all want to be that person, the one that is universally admired for their strength in character. That dependable friend that no one could live without. The one that saves everyone in their moment of need, and is always remembered for what they did for other people, less so what they have done for themselves.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not for one second that this is a bad way to be, that we shouldn't try to help others, or save people when they most need it, but what I would like to speak about in this post, is the concept of saving yourself.

Sometimes it may seem that in society the people we consider most worthy and admirable are those that spend their whole lives saving others. Obviously, this is an incredible character trait, and something I could only hope to be like, but what I would like to focus on is that sometimes being your own hero, is the best characteristic that we can achieve.

It is when the days are rough and you need to be tough, that we should be turning to our own built up resilience and using our own will power to drag ourselves out of bed. On days like these, when all you have done is got out of bed and the bare minimum, even when you wanted to let life wash over you in a wave leaving you ignorant to that day's drama and negativity, this is what is called being your own hero.

Sometimes you need to work on your own self belief and bravery before you can go out there are save the world, and thats okay. I believe that each of us somewhere wants to save someone else, but if you take all that energy and use it to save yourself, then that is okay too.

Most people can think of a time when they were barely able to keep their head above the water, and if you were able to do this, even with the weight of life attached to your feet, dragging you down, then you deserve a medal, and if no one has told you so, then you are brave and you are beautiful and you got through something that most people could not.

The biggest reason why I write this post, is actually because I believe that we should be doing more to build ourselves up, instead of what the media and outer negative influences insist we do, which is self-depreciate.

I believe that self-sacrifice should not be glorified, but instead we need to spend more time working on saving ourselves and building ourselves, so that we are able to survive the rocky road that is life.

So save yourself, be your own hero, and then when you are ready go out and save the world, just don't leave it until it is too late for you to live a happy and healthy life, as after all, we are only here once.

LF, LR and MG xxx