Award Show Culture

Tis' the season to watch award shows. But instead of the usual jolly-ness, this year, award show season seems to be filled with pent up controversy, disguised haters and snide comments. Whilst its always nice to see your favourite artists being recognised for their talent and hard work and general sunshine (AKA Taylor Swift) I have a major problem with award show culture.

Award show culture breeds hatred between artists, and perpetuates a society where people feel they have to 'one-up' each other all the time. The fact is, anyone nominated for an award, and artists not nominated for awards either, should all be celebrated for their contributions to the arts community. That being said, I don't wish to take those achievements away from those worthy artists, I just don't like the way it breeds an understanding that artists have to 'beat each other out' in order to be recognised.

The next issue I have with award show culture, and one that I know has been recognised widely this year, particularly with the Oscars, which is the extremely obvious lack of representation these shows offer. Talent is not restricted to one particular race, ethnicity or religion, so why should recognition of these talents be restricted by the limitations we place on them. It bothers me tremendously that the nominations continually bypass the most worthy of candidates because they don't represent the same culture or ethnicity that they do. Lets have more representation people!

Moving on, the next issue I have is the way award shows force people to degrade artists under the disguise of supporting another one. In particular, since social media has become such an integral platform for opinions and grievances, people and celebrities included will stop at nothing to voice how they really feel. Hiding behind your screen does not excuse the words that are out on the internet forever, and I think this is yet another example of the way celebrity culture blinds us from the someone's true character. Celebrities, don't think just because you're high and mighty it excuses you from having a sense of dignity online and slagging off other artists isn't noticed, or part of perpetuating the problem.

So yes, whilst it is nice to watch celebs being celebrated for their contribution to music or art or television, lets not forget that award show culture has the ability to breed hatred, and this is something that must be recognised.

-LF, LR and MG xxx

People Come and People Go

Everyone experiences many kinds of people. People who are funny, smart, gentle, kind, responsible, jokey, and so on. People who are there for you when you need them, or that you are there for when they need you. People who stick around for a long time, or people you meet for a day.

My point is that people can walk in and walk out of your life at any time. This brings about mixed emotions; it is so exciting when a new friend strolls into your life and is bound to stick around for ages, but on the other hand, an old friend who waltzes out of your life without you even noticing is startling and upsetting.

In life, this will happen so much. I guarantee that the majority of the people from your day care when you were only a toddler walked out of your life practically as soon as you walked out of those doors for the last time. I guess it just hurts more when you grow up, and did not expect to see people leave so soon.

Say you discover a brand new, flashy group of friends. You bond over endless laughter and various hobbies in common, or even hobbies that are different that are so fresh and interesting that you wish to find out more. This is one of the greatest feelings - connecting with people that you instantly recognise will become a close friend and important figure in your life. However, at the expense of these sparkly new friends, there is a loss of some old faces. You didn't notice them leaving, but one day it hits you and you feel an overwhelming pang of sadness. You see them with their flashy new friends and smile because you know they feel the same way that you do, but there's still this selfish part of your brain that says "but that was me 12 years ago".

I heard a metaphor in this video (credit to Dodie Clark, my inspiration for so many things), which links life to one big bus journey. People will enter and exit the bus at many different times, but you will be on this bus witnessing everyone passing by. The lesson that I gained from this metaphor is to not be too upset over the passengers that have stuck by for the longest time, but to look back and feel pleased that they did travel with you for so long. This lesson is particularly relevant at the moment to me, and will become even more so, as the three of us begin our university journeys.

Thank you for reading this, it has felt good to be blogging again. I am so sorry for my prolonged absence...I kind of fell out of love with blogging for a few different reasons, but this rambling has been oddly cathartic. Needless to say, I have regained my love and I will not go on a hiatus this long again.

-LF, LR and MG

xxx

5 Good Things

A while ago I came up with an idea that changed the way I think. Previously, I had slipped into a really negative mindset. I constantly drew out the negatives in everything, and through this, was compounding my own situation by refusing to control the one thing I was able to control: my thoughts.

I'm not even quite sure how it started, but since around the summer, every evening (with the exception of a few forgetful nights) LF and I have exchanged '5 good things that have happened today'. At first, I became motivated to do this because I thought it would be a nice way to share some good things with one of my closest friends.

Within a few weeks however, I began to notice changes in the way I thought and the way I processed the things that happened to me. The premise of this activity is to find five things, however minute or gigantic that were good things that happened that day. Sometimes that means that the bus came on time, or I only cried once, and other days these things are bigger and more significant. But ultimately, the aim is the same.

I changed the way I thought by recognising all the little good things that can be easily overlooked. Some days this is really difficult when it has been an overwhelmingly bad day, but regardless, pushing myself to find things however seemingly insignificant, showed me that no matter what my day has been like, I am so blessed to have the things I have.

I get very easily sucked into a negative frame of mind, and honestly struggle to find the good in many situations. It has now been at least six months and now the network of positivity (as I like to call it) has expanded.

After a few months of sharing 5 good things with LF, I decided to share them with another friend too, after explaining what it was about, she liked the idea and asked to be involved. More months have gone by since then, and more people have become involved. My friend started it up with one of her friends, and I too have since sent them to a few other people.

In some ways, my 5 things are selfish: They help me to have a more positive outlook, they enable me to be grateful and they have truly changed the way I think. But in other ways, I think the 5 things, by spreading positivity through my friends has shown me the importance of sharing positive thoughts and feelings in order to give someone else a better day.

I have been amazed at how a small commitment has turned into something that grows bigger everyday, and so I would implore you to share 5 good things with your friends or family at the end of each day, and see how it changes the way you think!

LF, LR and MG xxx

Dear Past Me

In school on Friday we discussed the way we are going to bring up our children, if we are lucky enough to have them. My teacher raised the question, asking whether we would raise our kids the same way our parents raised us. She proposed that most of us would probably say yes, but would there be things that we would change?

When I came home on Friday, I considered this question fully. In truth, will I raise my children differently? Yes. For me, this is almost no question at all. I knew that sitting in my classroom, I know it on the way home, and I still know it now.

But thinking about my future, and the lessons I would impart on any future children I might chose to have, made me think about all the things I wish I would've told myself at the beginning of high school, considering where I am now.

So instead of writing a note to my future children, I wrote a note to my past self, and I would like to share it on here, in the hope that it might give some advice.

"Laugh more. Cry more. Take in the beauty of this world. Don’t be afraid to think. Don’t be afraid to speak and don’t be afraid to feel. 

There are going to be times when you are lost, times when you’re angry, afraid and broken. You are going to be confused, you are going to ask why… ALOT. And sometimes, you aren’t going to get the answers that you require. And then you're gonna be frustrated. There will be days when you wish you weren’t born. But from those days it’ll be as if you were born anew, as you will rise up from the ashes, greater and stronger than you were before.

It is going to be really hard but it also going to be so worth it. So say thank you more. You are going to face challenges and sometimes you will fail but you will also succeed. You are going to want to give up, but you will keep going because you are made of stronger stuff.

You are going to say things you don’t mean, and sometimes you will upset people, but you will apologize because no one is ever too big or too great to say sorry when they are wrong.

You are going to stand up for what you believe in because there is nothing on this earth that is more important to you than fighting for the ones that you love.

Grab opportunities with both hands, and see every day as a different experience. Don’t take all that you have for granted, because G-d can give as quickly as He can take away. 

Learn more. Study hard. Take life seriously, but not too seriously. 

Be patient, be kind and most importantly be accepting. Don’t judge a person until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

Some days, your biggest achievement will be getting out of bed in the morning, but some days you achievements will be as big as touching the sky.

Don’t forget to spend a few moments every day saying thank you for everything you do have.

You are going to learn that the greatest tool you have, is your mind. With your mind you can achieve anything. You will see that it doesn’t matter what you have or what you don’t have, it is about creating opportunities with your mind.

But most importantly, be brave, be strong and be kind." 

-LF, LR and MG xxx

New Year Thoughts (LR)

I know technically its a bit late to share my reflections on the past year, but I was on a plane when I should have been blogging this, so you'll have to excuse me! I would like to share my reflections on 2015 with everyone because 2015 taught me a lot of valuable lessons.

2015 has been a year of many things for me. Mostly, it has been a year of change. Every year I laugh to myself as I reflect back on all the events of the past year, and wonder how I got through. This year however, I look back, reflecting on all the choices I made, that brought me to this point. 

2015 was no less arduous. In fact, 2015 probably left more scars and bruises then any previous years. But it also taught me more lessons then any other year to date. 2015 was the year I made decisions for myself regardless of the things outside my control, and furthermore, it was the year I decided to let go of things I could not control and allow myself to focus from within. 

2015 was a year of gratitude. It was the year I saw for the first time really clearly, how unbelievable all the people around me are. It was the year I started saying thank you for all the things people do for me. 

2015 was the year I realized how much I love writing. It was a year I sought after my passion, and tried to utilize that in order to change the world. 

2015 was the year I realized the person I want to become, and started making small steps in the right direction. 

2015 was the year I experienced heartache, adverse challenges, stress, fear, anger and intense anxiety. But it was also the year unlike many previous, where I didn’t let that dominate who I am. 2015 was the year I chose to change my state of mind instead of changing all the uncontrollable things around me. It was the year I learnt that the greatest power I have is the strength that comes from within. 

2015 was the year I fought hardest for the people I love the most, and won. it was a year of continual decision making and it was a year that showed me that I can do it. 

2015 was the year I decided to be more positive, it was a year that I worked on my mental strength harder than I have ever done before. 2015 was the year I let myself make decisions I would never have done before. It was the year I started to look forward to a future, it was a year of building bridges, and in some cases, it was a year of burning bridges too. 

2015 was the year I learnt things about myself and about the world every single day, and was the year that I let go of the past, and moved on towards the future.  

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year

- LR xxx

New Year Thoughts (LF)

The reason that I am writing this post is because I was inspired by one of my closest friends' tweets. She wrote:

"This year needs to say bye bye"

and this got me thinking. Retrospectively, I don't think that 2015 was a bad year for me. I became more body confident, spent my entire summer having amazing experiences - work related or not, stopped biting my nails, completed my UCAS form and went for 3/5 of my interview days for universities, continued with my old hobbies and found some more, rekindled some old friendships and created new ones.

However, as I went through each month of this year, it didn't give off the same impression. I had mock exams, followed by the real things, grade disappointments, intense nostalgia, family struggles, anxiety surrounding events that I should not have been nervous for and many tears.

But as the year comes to a close, I am beginning to almost forget about those not-so-great times. I can now leave 2015 with the thought of it being not such a bad year for me. I know that in reality, it just wasn't great, but I think that the beauty of 2015 is that it is in the past now. If I cling onto those negative feelings, I won't be able to move on with my life. I won't be able to fully enjoy the rest of my final year of school, turning 18, prom, the extremely long summer holiday, and eventually (and hopefully) starting my university career.

I say this every year, but I think that 2016 will be my year. But this time, I am not just saying it. I am going to go out of my way to make sure that when I am a mother watching my children enter their 18th year in this world, I will be able to say "I loved being 18, it was one of my favourite years".

Obviously there are many aspects of my life that are out of my control, as with everyone. When it comes to those parts, it won't be that I will rise up and change things myself because I physically cannot do that. I feel like instead, it will be a change in mindset, which I will 100% benefit from. Instead of putting myself down all the time, I'm going to turn that around and positive thinking should come with rewards.

I also want to enter 2016 with the attitude that I will post more; I can't believe that I haven't posted since October!

Happy new year everyone <3

-LF, LR and MG
xxx

A Time to be Grateful

I often fear that I become too swept up in the moment, and do not have enough strength of character to be aware of how grateful I should be. It is human nature to look beyond those closest to us. We disregard those who play vital roles in our lives, not because we don't love them or recognise them, but because when something is placed right in front of us, most of the time, we are blind to it.

When things go wrong, naturally, we look for someone else to blame. We don't like to believe that it is us ourselves that has done the wrong thing. However, when things go right, we turn inwards and celebrate our own success, forgetting about all the other people that helped us and guided us along the way.

I'm not saying for a second that we shouldn't celebrate our own successes, because of course we should. Instead, however I am suggesting that we should be reminding ourselves that we need to look to the outside to thank those around us for all their help, kindness and support.

Someone once told me that you can never say thank you too many times, and I think that is really true. Being grateful to those around us, is paramount to success. When we are able to recognise the input of our family, friends, teachers and any one else, then we are giving part of our success to them, and allowing them to share in the good things as well as the bad.

I am constantly reminded of the look in my teacher's face, when I made an effort to tell her good news. The sincerity of which she received my news, made me painfully aware of how much bad news I share, but more than that, the intimacy of good news, when it is such a rare occurrence. It made me see, for the first time, the many ways saying thank you can be said, and more importantly, the power of which being grateful can hold.

Frankly, we are in times of universal uncertainty, when most of us are paralysed by fear of the unknown - or more accurately, fear of knowing that we don't really know what is to come on a global scale.

But I do think, however insignificant it may be on a global scale, that the only thing you can do to fight back against those who have stripped away their humanity, is by working on humanity. Trying to make the world a better place, one thank you at a time.

-LF, LR and MG