5 Good Things

A while ago I came up with an idea that changed the way I think. Previously, I had slipped into a really negative mindset. I constantly drew out the negatives in everything, and through this, was compounding my own situation by refusing to control the one thing I was able to control: my thoughts.

I'm not even quite sure how it started, but since around the summer, every evening (with the exception of a few forgetful nights) LF and I have exchanged '5 good things that have happened today'. At first, I became motivated to do this because I thought it would be a nice way to share some good things with one of my closest friends.

Within a few weeks however, I began to notice changes in the way I thought and the way I processed the things that happened to me. The premise of this activity is to find five things, however minute or gigantic that were good things that happened that day. Sometimes that means that the bus came on time, or I only cried once, and other days these things are bigger and more significant. But ultimately, the aim is the same.

I changed the way I thought by recognising all the little good things that can be easily overlooked. Some days this is really difficult when it has been an overwhelmingly bad day, but regardless, pushing myself to find things however seemingly insignificant, showed me that no matter what my day has been like, I am so blessed to have the things I have.

I get very easily sucked into a negative frame of mind, and honestly struggle to find the good in many situations. It has now been at least six months and now the network of positivity (as I like to call it) has expanded.

After a few months of sharing 5 good things with LF, I decided to share them with another friend too, after explaining what it was about, she liked the idea and asked to be involved. More months have gone by since then, and more people have become involved. My friend started it up with one of her friends, and I too have since sent them to a few other people.

In some ways, my 5 things are selfish: They help me to have a more positive outlook, they enable me to be grateful and they have truly changed the way I think. But in other ways, I think the 5 things, by spreading positivity through my friends has shown me the importance of sharing positive thoughts and feelings in order to give someone else a better day.

I have been amazed at how a small commitment has turned into something that grows bigger everyday, and so I would implore you to share 5 good things with your friends or family at the end of each day, and see how it changes the way you think!

LF, LR and MG xxx

Dear Past Me

In school on Friday we discussed the way we are going to bring up our children, if we are lucky enough to have them. My teacher raised the question, asking whether we would raise our kids the same way our parents raised us. She proposed that most of us would probably say yes, but would there be things that we would change?

When I came home on Friday, I considered this question fully. In truth, will I raise my children differently? Yes. For me, this is almost no question at all. I knew that sitting in my classroom, I know it on the way home, and I still know it now.

But thinking about my future, and the lessons I would impart on any future children I might chose to have, made me think about all the things I wish I would've told myself at the beginning of high school, considering where I am now.

So instead of writing a note to my future children, I wrote a note to my past self, and I would like to share it on here, in the hope that it might give some advice.

"Laugh more. Cry more. Take in the beauty of this world. Don’t be afraid to think. Don’t be afraid to speak and don’t be afraid to feel. 

There are going to be times when you are lost, times when you’re angry, afraid and broken. You are going to be confused, you are going to ask why… ALOT. And sometimes, you aren’t going to get the answers that you require. And then you're gonna be frustrated. There will be days when you wish you weren’t born. But from those days it’ll be as if you were born anew, as you will rise up from the ashes, greater and stronger than you were before.

It is going to be really hard but it also going to be so worth it. So say thank you more. You are going to face challenges and sometimes you will fail but you will also succeed. You are going to want to give up, but you will keep going because you are made of stronger stuff.

You are going to say things you don’t mean, and sometimes you will upset people, but you will apologize because no one is ever too big or too great to say sorry when they are wrong.

You are going to stand up for what you believe in because there is nothing on this earth that is more important to you than fighting for the ones that you love.

Grab opportunities with both hands, and see every day as a different experience. Don’t take all that you have for granted, because G-d can give as quickly as He can take away. 

Learn more. Study hard. Take life seriously, but not too seriously. 

Be patient, be kind and most importantly be accepting. Don’t judge a person until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

Some days, your biggest achievement will be getting out of bed in the morning, but some days you achievements will be as big as touching the sky.

Don’t forget to spend a few moments every day saying thank you for everything you do have.

You are going to learn that the greatest tool you have, is your mind. With your mind you can achieve anything. You will see that it doesn’t matter what you have or what you don’t have, it is about creating opportunities with your mind.

But most importantly, be brave, be strong and be kind." 

-LF, LR and MG xxx

New Year Thoughts (LR)

I know technically its a bit late to share my reflections on the past year, but I was on a plane when I should have been blogging this, so you'll have to excuse me! I would like to share my reflections on 2015 with everyone because 2015 taught me a lot of valuable lessons.

2015 has been a year of many things for me. Mostly, it has been a year of change. Every year I laugh to myself as I reflect back on all the events of the past year, and wonder how I got through. This year however, I look back, reflecting on all the choices I made, that brought me to this point. 

2015 was no less arduous. In fact, 2015 probably left more scars and bruises then any previous years. But it also taught me more lessons then any other year to date. 2015 was the year I made decisions for myself regardless of the things outside my control, and furthermore, it was the year I decided to let go of things I could not control and allow myself to focus from within. 

2015 was a year of gratitude. It was the year I saw for the first time really clearly, how unbelievable all the people around me are. It was the year I started saying thank you for all the things people do for me. 

2015 was the year I realized how much I love writing. It was a year I sought after my passion, and tried to utilize that in order to change the world. 

2015 was the year I realized the person I want to become, and started making small steps in the right direction. 

2015 was the year I experienced heartache, adverse challenges, stress, fear, anger and intense anxiety. But it was also the year unlike many previous, where I didn’t let that dominate who I am. 2015 was the year I chose to change my state of mind instead of changing all the uncontrollable things around me. It was the year I learnt that the greatest power I have is the strength that comes from within. 

2015 was the year I fought hardest for the people I love the most, and won. it was a year of continual decision making and it was a year that showed me that I can do it. 

2015 was the year I decided to be more positive, it was a year that I worked on my mental strength harder than I have ever done before. 2015 was the year I let myself make decisions I would never have done before. It was the year I started to look forward to a future, it was a year of building bridges, and in some cases, it was a year of burning bridges too. 

2015 was the year I learnt things about myself and about the world every single day, and was the year that I let go of the past, and moved on towards the future.  

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year

- LR xxx

New Year Thoughts (LF)

The reason that I am writing this post is because I was inspired by one of my closest friends' tweets. She wrote:

"This year needs to say bye bye"

and this got me thinking. Retrospectively, I don't think that 2015 was a bad year for me. I became more body confident, spent my entire summer having amazing experiences - work related or not, stopped biting my nails, completed my UCAS form and went for 3/5 of my interview days for universities, continued with my old hobbies and found some more, rekindled some old friendships and created new ones.

However, as I went through each month of this year, it didn't give off the same impression. I had mock exams, followed by the real things, grade disappointments, intense nostalgia, family struggles, anxiety surrounding events that I should not have been nervous for and many tears.

But as the year comes to a close, I am beginning to almost forget about those not-so-great times. I can now leave 2015 with the thought of it being not such a bad year for me. I know that in reality, it just wasn't great, but I think that the beauty of 2015 is that it is in the past now. If I cling onto those negative feelings, I won't be able to move on with my life. I won't be able to fully enjoy the rest of my final year of school, turning 18, prom, the extremely long summer holiday, and eventually (and hopefully) starting my university career.

I say this every year, but I think that 2016 will be my year. But this time, I am not just saying it. I am going to go out of my way to make sure that when I am a mother watching my children enter their 18th year in this world, I will be able to say "I loved being 18, it was one of my favourite years".

Obviously there are many aspects of my life that are out of my control, as with everyone. When it comes to those parts, it won't be that I will rise up and change things myself because I physically cannot do that. I feel like instead, it will be a change in mindset, which I will 100% benefit from. Instead of putting myself down all the time, I'm going to turn that around and positive thinking should come with rewards.

I also want to enter 2016 with the attitude that I will post more; I can't believe that I haven't posted since October!

Happy new year everyone <3

-LF, LR and MG
xxx

A Time to be Grateful

I often fear that I become too swept up in the moment, and do not have enough strength of character to be aware of how grateful I should be. It is human nature to look beyond those closest to us. We disregard those who play vital roles in our lives, not because we don't love them or recognise them, but because when something is placed right in front of us, most of the time, we are blind to it.

When things go wrong, naturally, we look for someone else to blame. We don't like to believe that it is us ourselves that has done the wrong thing. However, when things go right, we turn inwards and celebrate our own success, forgetting about all the other people that helped us and guided us along the way.

I'm not saying for a second that we shouldn't celebrate our own successes, because of course we should. Instead, however I am suggesting that we should be reminding ourselves that we need to look to the outside to thank those around us for all their help, kindness and support.

Someone once told me that you can never say thank you too many times, and I think that is really true. Being grateful to those around us, is paramount to success. When we are able to recognise the input of our family, friends, teachers and any one else, then we are giving part of our success to them, and allowing them to share in the good things as well as the bad.

I am constantly reminded of the look in my teacher's face, when I made an effort to tell her good news. The sincerity of which she received my news, made me painfully aware of how much bad news I share, but more than that, the intimacy of good news, when it is such a rare occurrence. It made me see, for the first time, the many ways saying thank you can be said, and more importantly, the power of which being grateful can hold.

Frankly, we are in times of universal uncertainty, when most of us are paralysed by fear of the unknown - or more accurately, fear of knowing that we don't really know what is to come on a global scale.

But I do think, however insignificant it may be on a global scale, that the only thing you can do to fight back against those who have stripped away their humanity, is by working on humanity. Trying to make the world a better place, one thank you at a time.

-LF, LR and MG

Are we human without our humanity?

I'm not sure there are many words that I can use right now that will do any sort of justice to the terrible sorrow I feel about all the terrorism going on in the world right now. I would however, like to share a poem that explores terrorism in the face of humanity, but I suppose more than that, the way in which we must break down stereotypes and prejudices in the face of a terror organisation that ironically does not kill based on any prejudice other than the fact that we are not them. I'm so tired of the relentless blame game and people attempting to throw their own suffering into the public eye as a way of diminishing another countries or cultures pain. We are all humans and as far as I am concerned, we are all in this together.

Are we human, without our humanity?

My flesh touches your flesh,

And from the outside, we appear no different.

I prick my skin on the thorn of a rose,

You do the same.

Our blood drips out a gleaming red-

It is the same.

I put my hand against yours

And turn them up towards the sun

We are different,

But innately we are the same.

I see all the things that make us different,

Through a distorted telescope

A lens clouded by misconceptions and prejudice.

Echo’s of lies and furious fervent feelings

That changes the color of my blood from yours.

When I strip down to just my flesh

What use will it all be?

For the blood of my people

And the blood of your people,

Will look the same on history’s tainted canvas.

And when the lies drain away,

But our morals stay the same –

My flesh that touches your flesh

Becomes our flesh.

Now the color red streaks through our cities veins,

We laugh as millions but cry as one,

We feel loss as one.

But we must remember, that our weapon –

One that is much stronger than any knife, gun or bomb –

Is our Humanity.

For it is our Humanity that makes us Human,

And being human that makes us all the same.

-LF, LR and MG xxx

Sucked In To Social Media

I know its been a while since we have had a constant stream of posts, but there is no time like the present to get back into blogging.

An important issue that has cropped up especially in the last few weeks, is the power behind social media.

With the advance of technology, social media for the better or worse has become a big part in most of our lives. We check our Facebook, update our twitters and are posting pictures on Instagram before we have even taken in the moment.

The world we live in thrives off of instant gratification, we judge our popularity based on how many likes we obtain, and judge ourselves based on the superficial exterior that others give off, from their social media updates. We confuse our screens for real life and become lost in the trying to be something that we are not, because what we want doesn't really exist. 

The power of social media is immense. It dictates how we look, how we think and how we define the things around us. We become caught up in the externalities and often forget to work on who we are, off screen. It becomes hard to separate between on line and real life. Our expectations of who we are and what defines us, become blended into a mixture of filters, and Kylie Jenner's lips. We lose touch with reality and become consumed by what we think we should look like, based on a reality that someone else has created to reflect an ideal world. 

Time and time again you see girls and boys succumb to the pressures of the online world, unable to maintain the unrealistic expectations of what we should look like, or what we believe is aesthetically pleasing. 

That doesn't mean that I don't have Facebook or Twitter or Instagram. I am fully aware of all the positives of social media. However, I think that most of us are too sucked in to see some of the harmful effects that living life online can have as well.

I think that as a population, we spend too much time making sure that externally we are giving off the appearance of someone that will get lots of likes. We judge success on how many followers we have, not on what it means to be a good person. We are misdirected by a world that seems a lot more high definition of our own, and captivated by a culture that appears so much more fulfilling than it is.

The problem with becoming absorbed by social media is that we begin to live life in 2D. We live through a screen instead of experiencing the world first hand, and this inhibits our experiences in ways that we are too blinded to notice.

Sometimes it is good to just go offline for a few days. Take in the world around us and see beauty in things that don't have a filter on. I sometimes feel that our sensitivity towards each other and the way we explore things has become more and more superficial, because the place we most express ourselves is online. I'm not naive enough to think that we should all just switch off and stay that way, but I do think that every now and again it is good to just give it a rest. Extract yourself from a world that doesn't shut down for even a second, and look inwards at who you want to be, rather than online to see who you should be modelling yourself off of.

-LF, LR, and MG xxx