"Do More of What Makes You Happy"

As you get older, you notice that time is getting shorter. You get to the age at which you're entering secondary school, where you feel as if you have all the time in the world to have fun, so you go shopping with your friends, take your dog out for long walks and spend time on family picnics, with a bit of homework here and there. Then there are the end of year exams. This cycle progresses throughout your career at secondary school, with your free time being cut shorter and shorter without you even noticing it. Then BOOM. Year 11 whacks you across the face and you realise that your 'end of year exams' actually have an effect on your future, so for a few months you cut off most of your free time and filling it with endless revision, past papers and note-taking, before eventually spending the last remaining moments of your free time sprawled across the desk of scattered papers dozing off.

Eventually, by the time you hit Sixth Form (the last two years of compulsory education), you have a sudden realisation. All of that time you had spent with your loved ones has been evaporated. You haven't left the house aside from popping to school or the library in weeks and you feel confined to the same few rooms in your own house. That time you spent teaching yourself how to play the piano has all gone to waste, as you can't even remember how to shape a minor chord. You don't remember what daylight looks like. You haven't had a meal out in months.

This realisation happened to me two weeks ago, when we began to write our Personal Statements for university. I used to be able to speak about how I had an "ear for music" and could instantly pick out the correct chords and melody to any song on the keyboard. Now I can only remember one song. I used to love to socialise with my friends on the weekends, which rarely ever happens anymore.  Hey, I even used to win at a round of bowling against my friends and family, now I can scarcely remember which finger goes in which hole in the bowling ball.

Now, free time is almost a foreign word to me. Any "free time" is spent trying to retrace the steps of my old skills, completing my book list for university, writing my Personal Statement (just kidding, that's just not happening), organising my life and also the occasional blog post. Even then, that doesn't happen often, as seen by the number of posts by my fellow writers in comparison to me.

What I wanted to get across was that I wish that I had made myself take some more free time, as I regret letting past hobbies go down the drain. I used to look at a piano and rush over to it, desperate to lay my fingers on the ebony and ivory keys. Now, I have that same enthusiasm, but I stare blankly at the keys in wonder of how I lost the skills to play.

Please make sure that you do more of what makes you most happy, as I wish that I had.

-LF, LR and MG

Moving On: Nostalgia and Change

I don't know about you, but I am certainly the type of person who finds it difficult to adjust to new ideas and let go of old ones. I suffer from terrible nostalgia and I get upset over things that once were. For example, it probably took me the majority of Year 7 (the first year of secondary school) to settle in, because I was longing to go back to primary school with my old friends and old teachers and not a care in the world. I would even try to prolong this holding onto my past by seeing only my primary school friends on Fridays after school. (I gave advice on how to cope with big changes here; this is slightly different).

I also tend to be stung by unchangeable factors. These are the worst, purely because they simply cannot be changed. I feel upset when I see people with thicker hair than me, people who are naturally smarter or funnier than me, or seeing my brother live every day of his life at an entirely different perspective to you or me due to his Autistic Spectrum Disorder. I get upset, more topically, when I do not fit into the desired category that teachers, friends, classmates and many more people may need, so I become left behind.

From these situations, I find it incredibly hard to move on. It is within my nature; I am a sensitive girl who overthinks everything and dwells on what could have been or what once was.

Though what I find very helpful is to try and reason with myself.

The first step to this is to allow yourself time to be upset. You are unhappy, unsettled or feeling nostalgic for a reason, be it rational or not. "It's okay not to be okay" is my favourite quote sometimes, as it reminds me that I am only human, and I am allowed to feel like this.

Then, I like to tell myself to stop. Yes, the time to be sad is necessary, but it should not have to change anything or get in the way of your productivity.

I then sit down alone and think about all of the positives that come out of the situation. Like how this has benefitted you, how you could change the way you do things the next time, and "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".

After that step, I find that I am able to not necessarily move on per-say, but at least I can see a light at the end of a tunnel and I am able to resume normal life.

Or scrap all of the advice I gave you and sit in bed eating ice cream - I recommend the new Walls' soft 'Big Scoop' chocolate ice cream. Best thing on the planet.

- LF, LR and MG
xxx

Change

One word, 5 letters, such a strong impact.

Change can be seen in minor cases, such as an alteration in your morning routine or a new hairstyle. This form is mild, in general has a very small effect on a person and can easily be forgotten about.

However, this is not always the case. Some changes, for example moving schools, houses or even countries, can throw the balance of normality and usually does not feel right. It plays on your mind that something is not normal or even safe, and it can truly throw your emotions all over the place. You almost begin to doubt the people who are closest to you, nearly losing trust in the ones you love. You find that you feel alone, as if there is nobody that you could speak to because they could not possibly have experienced what you feel and anything that anyone says will throw you and make you feel worse.

Of course this does not happen in every situation; most large changes can be extremely beneficial and genuinely will help you in the long run. But the patience and time required for this effect to happen require so much energy, and it is tricky to handle at points.

I would like to give a few small pieces of advice, which I have followed recently and have got me through this tough period on uncountable occasions.

1) Give it time

Time is one of the greatest healers. Though it seems long, as if you are travelling down a long road of unsettlement, there will come a turn at the end which clearly shows positive effects. This turn-around will not happen overnight, it will take time. Once that time is up, there will be no looking back.

2) Patience is key

Do not, under any circumstances, give up. Coupling with point number 1, settling does not come instantly. If you feel a loss of motivation or like it is the end of the world, this feeling will certainly not last forever and if you bare with the situation for a few weeks, it will improve.

3) Acceptance

It is more than okay to feel upset. Joint with discomfort will generally come a feeling of being pathetic or guilt for your negative emotions. Ignore them. Being sad is normal, as long as you acknowledge the fact that this will not last forever.

4) Change your thoughts

It is no use trying to apply yourself to a situation if all of your thoughts are clouded by negativity and you are not willing to make an effort. Force yourself to step out of your comfort zone a small amount each day, whether it be talking to somebody or holding a smile for five minutes. This alteration in attitudes will cause steps 1 and 2 to come along much easier and there will be a noticeable difference in yourself.

So to summarise, whilst change is inevitable, there are ways of avoiding making it more difficult than it should be. Whilst I have only named 4 steps, there are many more: why not try to come up with some yourselves?

Best of luck.

-LF, LR and MG